Happy Diwali

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May the Almighty bestow his best wishes, health, prosperity and love to you and your family. May Goddess Laxshmi shine her light on your home and fill your lives with wealth and prosperity. And May Lord Ganesh bless you with every thing new you may do this year.

Happy Diwali to all my dear readers that are celebrating this auspicious day. Please remember to share your happiness, wealth, love and family with those that are truly in need today. For The Lord will provide you with double of what your share.

~Tamana

I Want To Dance Again

I miss the stage. I miss getting all dolled up and performing in from of hundreds and thousands of people. I miss feeling like gorgeous, fit and hot. I miss the cheers from the crowds. I miss that life. I miss it all.

Washing the dishes this morning with headphones in my ears and blasting music as I washed each dish; my body moved to the music the way it used to 10 years ago. Of course, I worked up quite a sweat and was huffing and puffing to catch my breath. But I felt exhilarated. I felt like I was my 20 something self again.

I haven’t felt that way for many years. Not since I hurt my knee. It’s been so long. But I want to do it again. I want that life back. I want to dance again.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadian readers that are celebrating. I wish you and your families love and happiness.

I am celebrating thanksgiving with my darling husband, Ni, close friend and parents. No one besides me and our friend, Hari enjoy turkey. So, I’m putting together a non-traditional dinner for all of us to enjoy. Baked chicken, stuffing, veggies, bread and drinks. I’m still not better, so D has promised to help me cook and tidy up our home. It totally sucks that I’m still sick. But I’m thankful for a caring and helpful husband.

I’m also thankful for a daughter that is truly a sweetheart. I never though I’d like a child, let alone love them. But I do and she’s such a good little girl. She’s smart and funny and a quick learner. I’m so thankful I didn’t get one of those whiny little brats as a daughter. Lol.

I’m also thankful for my job and employer. As much as the job sucks at times, it’s still a good company to work for and I’m glad I’ve spent the past six years of my life working there. I’ve made many friends and connections and learnt so much from so many people.

Lastly, I’m thankful for my parents. Although, they drive me absolutely insane at times, I’m still thankful that they are close-by and a part of our lives, especially now that I’m a mom, the help with Ni is so greatly appreciated.

What are you thankful for? Share your thoughts with me!

Happy Karva Chaut

Happy Karva Chaut to all the couples celebrating today. I wish you all many more years of martial bliss and happiness.

As for me, I’ve decided not to fast this year. Maybe it’s because I’m still quite sick or maybe because it feels like something is missing this year. Don’t get me wrong, I pray for my husband’s long life every day. But this time around, I am just not up to fasting, getting dolled up and enjoying the festivities. Bored in bed and sick as a dog, I did apply some henna on one of my hands because my mother left the henna at my place yesterday when she came to check up on me. As for the rest of the celebrations and prayers, I don’t think I’m up for them this year. And personally, missing one day won’t bring any bad luck or other issues if I don’t fast.

I love my husband dearly, but something is missing today and I’m questioning whether me keeping this fast half-heartedly would even be worth it. I mean, what’s the point, when you’re not fully there and able?

But that’s just me. As for the rest of you, I wish you all the best and love in your married lives. Happy Karva Chaut, darlings!

Still Sick With No Recovery In Sight

If the four weeks of excruciating tooth pain post dental surgery wasn’t enough, I’ve come down with some sort of infection or virus. My doctor doesn’t have a clue what’s wrong with me and actually seemed a little concerned today; which is concerning for me to see. Normally, he had a quick solution and reason for illnesses but after a thorough examination today of me and my symptoms, he seemed stumped. So, he sent me in for blood work; he thinks maybe some of my blood counts are off and wants to get a good look at my report. I’ll be meeting with him on Thursday to discuss the results.

But 4 week plus of dental pain and 3 weeks now of chills, fever, muscle pain, diarrhea and vomiting; I don’t seem to be getting better and don’t see a light at the end of this tunnel either. I’m exhausted of being sick and in pain. I hate all the pain meds and cold/flu meds I’m putting into my body. I can’t taste anything and can’t stomach most things I do eat. I’m tired and feeling totally depressed.

I won’t even begin to talk about being off work all these weeks and whether I’ll even have a job to go back to or not for when I do get better. Initially, my boss replied to my emails telling him I needed to be off for a few days. He seems genuinely concerned and understanding. But that was 3 weeks ago and I haven’t heard from him at all since then. I’m quite nervous to how he’s going to react when I am better and back at work. But I’m hopeful that he will understand that all of this wasn’t intentional and has really kicked my butt.

Please pray that I get better soon and can finally be my self again. I’ve been so miserable lately that I think D is getting sick of me being home and sick all the time too. Thank goodness for him, though. He’s such a good man and has really taken care of me and Ni. I am blessed. I just need to get better now.

a stubborn desire…

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