The little things matter most
The one thing that I have always missed in all of my relationships was the romance. I mean, I’ve had guys take me out to nice places and say the things I wanted to hear. But I’ve never actually been spoiled romantically! I’ve never had a guy send me flowers to work. I’ve never had a guy buy me jewelry or chocolates. If it wasn’t for movies or books, I’d probably not even know what romance was.
Sounds sad doesn’t it? It is, a little! Especially when my girlfriends and I are sitting around and we’re talking about the things our guys have done for us. Here’s the thing though, all those little things that women sometimes need may not have been granted to me but when I’m sitting with these same girlfriends and we’re discussing how miserable our men make us, I normally don’t have much to talk about either.
I mean the guy I have in my life now is not really romantic when you look at romance categorized the way movies and books have made us think of it. But he does other things to equally satisfy the need for romance.
Daily he’ll ask me how my day was. And when I tell him it was miserable and I argued with this person or that, he’ll give me reasons to not get worked up about it. That tells me he’s actually listening to my bitching and complaining. Then there were the 3 days when I went through absolute emotional hell when I could not decide whether to pack my life up and move away or stay put and be unhappy. I got home every single day from work those 3 days, put on sweats and just lay in my blanket. And each one of those days, he grabbed me a tea from Tim Horton’s on his way home from work and just held me in his arms and lay with me on my bed as I sulked away. Occasionally, he made me laugh and teased me to distract me from my miseries.
Then there was the days when I was sick. He didn’t bring me soup but I had a pretty terrible cough and could barely swallow whole foods. So, he brought me every energy drink you can think of and made sure I drank all of them over a period of a few days.
I think that’s romance enough. I don’t need the grand gestures to feel loved or needed or cared for. The little things satisfy those needs equally. Do I want to be spoiled at times, sure! Is it a requirement, not really!
I mean, unexpectedly getting flowers to work or home just because he thought I would like them would be great too. Getting jewelry just because he thought it would look nice on me, would be great too. Walking in to a candlelit room, romantic music playing in the background and dinner set for two, would be great too. But if those things don’t happen, I’m okay with that too.
He treats me good. He doesn’t abuse me emotionally or physically. He doesn’t give me reasons to cry. He’s “there” for me when I need him. And he shows me he cares. What more could I ask for?