a stubborn desire…
You give and you give until you cannot give no more. You love and you love until you cannot love no more. You break all your limits. You tear down all the boundaries. You go out of your way to make sure every expectation is fulfilled. All you ask for in return is a smile, maybe a gesture of appreciation and love; even a “thank you” or acknowledgment would do. Instead you’re told that you are a terrible person because you missed one single detail. Or they don’t even bother to say anything at all. Or they don’t even bother to respond to you.
So you sit there reminisce and wonder why isn’t it ever enough?
You can’t tell anyone what you’re feeling because they probably won’t understand. All you can do is cry because none of it makes sense to you anymore. Everything you do seems to never be enough. There is always some disappointment. They are never satisfied with everything else you do. All they can emphasize their thoughts and disappointments on are the things you didn’t do.
Then there are the people who you have done everything you can do for them that just replace you when they think they’ve found someone better. They’re inconsiderate of your feelings and sometimes don’t even show you common courtesy. Because they’re alone here, you’ve tried to be their best friend, you’ve tried to be their family. You’ve tried your best to go above and beyond for them so they never felt alone or the emptiness of not having their family near-by.
There are also those people who you just love and love so much. You don’t know why you love them. You don’t know if it’s right or wrong. You still love them even though they don’t say a single word to you. You love them even though they sometimes say hurtful things. Then you go out of your way to make sure they feel loved, cared for and part of your family. You do for them everything and anything they want. You do those things for them that no one has ever done.
Yet, none of it is ever enough. One calls you a terrible person. The other doesn’t even consider you worthy enough to greet you. The next still can’t decide whether they love you or not.
What else do you have to do to make sure it’s enough? When will it ever be enough? When will your love be reciprocated? When will someone finally say thanks? When?
It will never be enough.