Most people say that time heals everything. Time will pass and your feelings will fade away. Time will allow distance. Time will ease your worries. Time will heal your wounds. Time will change the way you feel about someone.
A year has passed but my feelings remain the same. I thought that distance, confrontation, avoidance and time would change how I felt a year ago. But it hasn’t. Everything is the same. I am the same. Nothing about me has changed except maybe I’m a bit more tolerant. No. I’m not more tolerant. It’s eating me from the inside out. Maybe I’m more inexpressive and can hide my feelings better than I could a year ago. Yes, that is what it is.
A year ago, when I allowed my emotions and thoughts to come out, it nearly tore my world apart. I learned so many lessons about the people around me and how everything changes once you wear your heart on your sleeve.
But right now, I can’t wear my heart on my sleeve anymore. I can’t express how I feel anymore. I can’t let out anything that’s inside me anymore because people take advantage of your feelings and take you for granted and hurt you as if you’ll crumble without them.
Time has not changed anything; except it has taught me to change who I am. I used to be the bold, outspoken girl who didn’t hide anything. What was in her heart was on her lips. But now, I’ve become quiet. I can’t even write what’s in my heart for the fear of tearing my world apart.
I just have one question though, how long do you let your silence stop you from being you?