Happy Birthday Little Nephew

Dearest Nephew, I wish you all the love in the world. I wish you tons of happiness and success and growth.

You are the son I never had and you are one of the most dearest people in my life. I know I don’t show it as much as I should and that’s mostly because I don’t know how to act around children, even my own Nid leaves me all confused at times; but know that I love you more than you’ll ever know and more than I’ll ever show.

Your maasi will be here for you whenever you need a little push and whenever you need a place to go just to be yourself and have fun. But I’ll also be here for you when you’re doing something wrong, I will be the one to kick your butt for it and then I will be your guidance and your strength and make sure whatever you do in your life, you succeed at it. I will be that friend you can come to when you’re scared to talk to your mom or dad. I’ll be that reassurance when you can’t find yourself in the dark and I will hold your hand and walk with you through every scary, dark tunnel and into the rays of the sun.

For you my dear, are a part of me and hold one of the greatest spots in my heart.

I love you, Ujji and even if I don’t show it enough, don’t you ever forget that.

Happy Birthday sweetheart!

~ Maasi ~ Tamana

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What Changed?

Someone asked me this question yesterday, “what changed? You seem different now.” They said I had a glow to my face, a sparkle in my eye and a confidence that hadn’t been there for a long time in any of my pictures. “So, what changed?”

Someone else asked me if I had someone new in my life; someone bringing out the beauty in me. I laughed and said “yes, there’s someone in my life but they aren’t new; I just lost them for a while and found them again.” She honestly thought I was cheating on my husband and had gone back to an ex-boyfriend or something.

I explained to her, it was nothing of the sort. I told her I didn’t have time for anyone new or old back in my life right now. She looked dumbfounded at me and asked what the fuck I was talking about.

I continued to explain, I found myself again; the same self I allowed to disappear behind all the people and things I was so happily wasting myself and energy on. I cut so many toxic and negative people and things out of my life. I needed to make peace with myself.

“I gave you more than I gave myself. So loyal to you that I betrayed myself.” – Cardi B

It took me a long time to realize that the battle wasn’t between me and the world, but instead it was between me and myself.

And I won.

The next day, everything changed on it’s own. My charisma was back, the sparkle and glow returned. The waking up in the morning with a smile on my face became a part of my life again. And most importantly, I slept; not for an hour or two, but a full night’s sleep, without interruption.

So, to answer your question about what changed, I chose me, again. That’s all that needed changing.

~ Tamana

At Home Facial

love romantic bath candlelight
Photo by Breakingpic on Pexels.com

The one thing that I find I just don’t have the time to go out to do is get a facial. I find myself feeling quite lazy when it comes to actually getting all dressed and ready just to go out to get my face and neck all dirty again. So, tonight I decided to give myself a facial right in the comfort of my home. Of course, the relaxation that comes with having a professional do it for you was dearly missed, I still managed to achieve exceptional results.

Because I have very sensitive and dry skin I used the following combination of remedies. But you may choose any of the below that may suit your skin best.

My Personal Facial:
Oatmeal Cleanser
Rose Water Toner
Egg & Honey Mask
Almond and Mayonnaise Scrub
Olive Oil as my moisturizer
**Just remember: When you’re giving yourself a facial to take your time and relax. I would even prepare everything in advance so that each step can be done one-after the other without the interruption of having to prepare the products in-between. Finally, to top everything off, cut a couple of slices of cucumbers and chill them in your fridge until you are ready to apply your mask. If you don’t have cucumbers, soak cotton balls in rose-water and place them in a bowl in your fridge. Then when you apply your mask, sit back, put the cucumber slices or cotton balls on your eyes and let the mask dry.**

For a facial, follow the below steps to achieve best results:

  1. Cleanse your face and neck with one of the below natural cleansers that best suits your skin type:
    • Milk Cleanser – Oily Skin: Mix 1 tsp powdered milk and 1 tsp water and gently massage for 2 minutes
    • Yogurt Cleanser – Sensitive Skin: Mix 1 tsp baking soda and 1 tsp plain yogurt. Apply the paste on to skin and leave on for 2 minutes. Then gently massage for another 2 minutes. Rinse with warm water.
    • Oatmeal Cleanser – Dry to Sensitive Skin: Mix 1/2 cup oatmeal and 1 tsp plain yogurt. Apply the paste on to skin and leave on for 5 minutes. Rinse with cold water.
  2. Tone your face and neck with one of the below natural toner that best suits your skin type:
    • Lemon Juice – Oily Skin
    • Rose Water – Sensitive Skin
  3. Pick one of the mask recipes to apply to your face and neck from the below:
    • Avocado Yogurt Mask – Dry Skin: Blend 1 ripe Avocado with 4 tbsp yogurt. Apply the paste on to your ski and leave on for 30 minutes. Rinse with warm water.
    • Oatmeal Banana Yogurt Mask – Very Dry Skin: Mash 1 Banana into 1 tbsp dry oatmeal and 2 tsp yogurt. Apply the paste onto skin and leave on for 20 minutes. Rinse with warm water.
    • Lemon Mask – Dry Skin: Mix 2 egg yolks, 1 tsp olive oil and 1 tsp lemon juice. Spread mixture onto face and neck and leave on for 10 minutes. Rinse off the with cold water.
    • Egg Honey Mask – Dry to Sensitive Skin: Mix 1 egg yolk and 2 tbsp honey. Apply paste onto skin and leave on for 15 minutes. Rinse with lukewarm water.
    • Coconut Milk Pineapple Mask – Oily Skin: Mix 1 tsp fresh pineapple juice, 1 tsp coconut milk and 1 tsp cornstarch. Apply onto skin and leave on for 10 minutes. Rinse with warm water.
    • Cucumber Mask – Oily Skin: Puree 1/2 cucumber, 1 egg white, 1 tbsp lemon juice and 1 tsp milk. Apply onto skin and leave on for 20 minutes. Rinse with cold water.
  4. Exfoliate your face and neck with one of the following mixtures (Note: For any exfoliating method you choose, remember to GENTLY rub the mixture in a circular motion. Don’t be harsh and remember to get all major areas like your chin, nose and forehead. You can even gently scrub your lips with these to get any dead skin off):
    • Almond Honey Scrub – Dry Skin: Mix 2 tbsp crushed almonds and 1 tbsp honey.
    • Yogurt Almond Scrub – Blemished Skin: Mix 3 tbsp crushed almonds and 1/2 cup yogurt.
    • Almond Mayonnaise Scrub – Very Dry Skin: Grind 1/4 cup almonds and mix with 1/2 tsp mayonnaise.
    • Brown Sugar Scrub – Sensitive Skin: Mix 1/2 cup granulated sugar, 1/2 cup dark brown sugar, 1/2 cup almond oil, 2 tsp pure vanilla extract, 1 tbsp oatmeal, 1 tsp nutmeg and a pinch of Calendula petals.
    • Mint Oatmeal Scrub – To Rejuvenate Skin: 1/2 cup oatmeal and 1/4 cup dried mint. Mix with water.
  5. After you have successfully completed steps 1-4, your face and neck should be looking quite youthful, fresh and revitalized. Apply a good moisturizer and you’re set.You may wish to choose one of the below moisturizer remedies to finish off your facial:
    • Chamomile Honey Lotion – Steep 1 c. dried chamomile in 1 cup milk for a few hours. Strain, keeping the liquid. Add 4 tbsp. Honey and 8 tsp. wheat germ to liquid mixture. Blend well and place in a bottle.
    • Anti-Aging Cream – Combine 1 ounce glycerin, 1 ounce witch hazel, ½ ounce rose-water, 3 tbsp. honey, and 3 tbsp. wheat germ oil. Massage the cream into your skin using a circular and upward motion. Store in a tightly sealed container at room temperature. It should last for at least 1 month.

Vulnerabilities

Have you ever let your guard down? Opened up yourself to something new? Decided things should be different, so you move and flow differently? Have you ever allowed yourself to become someone you never thought you’d be? Or given into temptation and completely submitted to your cravings?

What happens when you do? Do you take rebirth and become a new, fiercer version of yourself? Does it spin your head and confuse everything you believed was right or wrong? Does it make you forget everything that happened and make you hopeful for everything that may happen?

It’s like a breeze that knocks you off your feet, takes your breath away and leaves you gasping. You’re trying hard to hold on to the self you knew yourself to be, yet letting go of it just as easily. Days become nights and nights become days. Hours become moments and moments hours. The world spins around you but you stand still, grounded, just to accept everything the universe is giving you.

And in that moment, that split second, you realize you are raw, exposed, vulnerable, even savage. Because you’ve left everything behind that once consumed you. This new breath is fresh, it’s exhilarating and it’s pushing you to rediscover yourself all over again.

That’s where I am right now; catching my breath, allowing myself to give into change and rebirth. Allowing myself to kill off everything that stopped me from being my true self.

” and I open my arms and let the universe consume me” -zidditamana

~ Tamana

Happy Thanksgiving

To all of my Canadian blog family, I hope you are enjoying a beautiful thanksgiving long weekend surrounded by loved ones.

I’ve decided not to celebrate this year with an extravagant dinner, instead I’m working hard to make positive changes. Maybe that’s what I’m thankful for this year; the strength to realize change was necessary and the courage to finally make it happen (details coming soon).

Enjoy your loved ones and be thankful for having another day.

~Tamana

Time For Change

It’s been a while since I’ve revamped this blog, changed up and added some new content to the pages. For the next few weeks, I will be making these changes and updating some of the pages and tags and possibly the look of this blog.

I think, with the changes that are coming for my personal life it is only suitable to change things up here as well.

I’ve been evaluating many of my relationships, friendships, habits and just myself in general lately. No, nothing went wrong or happened to cause it; however, I do feel like it’s time for a new me to emerge, especially in time for my upcoming birthday.

We fall into routines and habits we don’t love or enjoy and it’s hard to break them because we’re comfortable. But I’m tired of being comfortable with how things are and have been. I need excitement and exhilaration back in my world.

So, I’m going to focus on myself a little more for the next little while. Yes, I’ll still do the mom-in-training blogs because my little Nid is a part of me and who I am and will be for the rest of my life. I’ll still do the restaurant diaries, because well, food is life and there’s nothing better than well-made food. Poetry and quotes will take a bigger stance moving forward as those were always my passion.

But I will be getting rid of some of the nonsense topics that aren’t meaningful to me anymore. Relationships are out, unless it’s the relationship with myself; I’m going on a self-discovery journey and want to make that the focus of this blog as it was initially intended.

So, stay tuned for some changes to the blog look and feel, the page contents and some new self-discovery posts. Xoxo

~Tamana

Familiar Stranger

Have you ever met someone and felt like you had known them all your life? Like the two of you just connect and everything fit perfectly in place? You didn’t realize what level you connected on or what to think of it all while they were around.

And the funny thing is, before that day you didn’t even know they existed and now all of a sudden you know this person, you connected with them on some weird spiritual, intellectual or emotional level and then they’re suddenly gone from your life again without even as much as a goodbye.

You’re stuck wondering if they felt the same or were hit with that same connection. But you can’t ask them because you don’t know in which corner of the world they suddenly moved to and where they’re going on with their life. They’ve disappeared just as easily as they appeared into your world. You can’t ask anyone about them or search them up because there are some people out there that aren’t keen on wanting to be found or exploiting themselves all over social media like the rest of us.

I recently met a familiar stranger and now that person has disappeared and I’m left wondering if I lost someone that was supposed to be a part of my life and world, I think I lost a friend before they became one.

I have no way of contacting them except once I told them about my blog and I’m hoping my familiar stranger bothered to look it up and will read this post eventually and know I’m writing about them and get back in touch with me. ~ Tamana

a stubborn desire…

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