Do you ever feel broken, like pieces of you have been shattered and spread out like shards of glass? Today I feel broken. My heart hurts, my eyes are so painful because there are no more tears to shed, my soul feels alone and my ego is lost.
I’m one of the biggest assholes you’ll ever meet. I don’t take bullshit from anymore. I don’t have tolerance for ignorance or stupidity. I am normally blunt and don’t have a filter.
The one thing I am not is egotistic, I give people the benefit of the doubt, and I would never intentionally hurt someone. I would never cause anyone pain that is undeserving and even when it is deserving, I just cut them off and go on with my life. And I truly believe that is how people should be.
But there is always one person in our lives that can trash our ego, can shatter us to pieces, can cause us to lose our self worth and bring so much pain to our hearts that it physically hurts to breath. I too have someone like that in my life. They know the power and grasp they have over me. They know exactly how to shatter me and how to make me feel as if I am worthless. Not that they do it intentionally but they know the power they hold over me, as I know the power I hold.
Yet this is the same person that can bring me the greatest joys and make me feel like a million bucks. This is the same person that can fill my heart up with so much warmth that I am floating on cloud nine. This is the same person that taught me how to love and value myself. They are the same person that my soul craves and needs to feel whole. They are my twin flame and my soul mate.
And through this journey of being who we are, we have given each other some of the greatest of pains, yet also have experienced unlimited happiness and unconditional love. But sometimes what happens is that one person keeps giving and giving, while the other takes and takes without realizing that the other has given so much. Eventually, to the point where the giver becomes the taken for granted one and the receiver the oblivious one. Then one day, the giver can’t give anymore and everything that was boiling for the longest while ends up overflowing and eventually explodes.
Now the thing to know about twin flames is that we don’t complete each other but we help one another complete ourselves. So when things like this happen, the feeling of wholeness and completeness depletes and you are left vulnerable, strained, empty and broken. This is why my being feels broken today.
Although my twin has been made aware of the madness arising within me, I still await to be understood and relieved of the turmoil I am in. And until that happens, I continue to walk around shattered and lifeless, even though my personality and mask would tell you otherwise.