I’ve been avoiding reality

Tree of Truth

Reality. I’ve been trying really hard to avoid it and come to terms with it. Every time I come even a little close to it, I run back further.

You see, the truth sits in front of my reality and if I face the truth, I’m scared I might shatter and break. I’m scared I won’t be able to handle it. I’m scared the loneliness of my reality while haunt me. And so, I won’t face the truth; the reality.

My reality is that very soon I will be completely alone. My reality is that already I’ve lost my best friend. My reality is that I’ll be moving in to a home very soon that I am not completely thrilled about moving into. My reality is that this home is going to be only mine. My reality is that the emptiness of this home and my life combined will depress and turn me into something I don’t want to be.

What is that you say? Fill the home with happiness? Happiness? Who is to determine what happiness truly is? You? Me? I don’t know what true happiness is anymore. I haven’t felt it in a couple of years now. Seems like happiness runs from me every time I come near.

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One thought on “I’ve been avoiding reality”

  1. Ziddi, I am very sympathetic to your fear-of-need-to-grasp reality. I’ve heard it said that reality is not all it’s cracked up to be. Perhaps somewhere withing the swirl of thoughts and feelings, we will find a jewel worth treasuring. The jewel may not be totally safe from reality thieves, but safety may not be as important as a shared beauty. Thanks for your ping.


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