My birthday is less than a week away. I’m turning 28 and NO, I am not freaking out about it! 28 is a good number. It’s not young and it’s not old. It’s in-between! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! lol.
I have a whole bunch of NOTHING planned for the big day. None of my friends have mentioned anything about it either. Seems kind of sad, if you think about it. But I’m not saddened. I think it’s my own fault. I told everyone I wasn’t going to celebrate my birthday this year due to the many failed, unhappy and pathetic birthday celebrations I’ve had over the past few years. So in return, no one has brought it up. I don’t know if they’re surprising me with something or just trying to tip-toe around the topic so that I don’t have an outburst. I doubt I would but I can understand if they are. I’m not always the easiest person to deal with but that’s a whole other topic.
Anyway, over the past 6 or 7 years, all I can remember about my birthday is that I cried and was upset and it was due to the expectations I had from the people who were in my life at the time. Don’t worry, I’m not going to give you all the details of all of those terrible birthdays.
But I will tell you that this year, I have no expectations from anyone. Yes, I have a man in my life at-the-moment and yes, I have a roommate who is supposed to be my best-friend and yes, I have family and other close friends. But this year, I have no expectations from any of them.
People have disappointed me so much over the past few years and I know it’s not my current bf’s fault or roommate’s, or anyone else who’s in my life right now. But I’m smartening up this time. I’m just not going to expect anything from anyone at all and if someone wants to share my day with me then they are more than welcome to do so. I just don’t expect them to.
This year, the only expectation I have is from myself. I want to wake up on my birthday, make myself a delicious western omelette, chicken bacon, toast and a cup of coffee. I want to enjoy my breakfast in bed and just read a magazine. Then, I’ll get up, take a shower, get ready and just go for a nice long drive. I’m going to put in my favorite CD, crank it up, light a cigarette, roll down the windows (prevented the weather, lol) and just enjoy the world around me. Come home a few hours later and enjoy a bottle of Whiskey, snacks and more music.
That’s it! That’s all I want. No restrictions. No limitations. No one wishing me happy birthday or giving me presents or wanting me to go have lunch or dinner with them. I just want to sit and enjoy the day in the most simplest way possible.
Hmm! Now that I think about it, may be I’ll pick up a small chocolate cake with some Haagen Daaz ice cream and have that as my desert. Yup! Sounds like a plan! 🙂
I know my plan may seem weird, boring or sad to many of you. Honestly, sometimes, it’s just better to have a nice quiet birthday and enjoy yourself without all the noise and craziness of everything else. I’ve had the birthday parties with friends and family, I’ve had the romantic dinners with the bfs in the past, I’ve even done the bar-hopping thing with my girlfriends. Somehow, it all ends in vain and tears or heartache. Something always goes wrong. Somehow, you just feel like you want to escape it all. And I guess, this year I do. I’m going to escape from it all.