2011 So Far…

2011? Dear heaven!

This was supposed to be the year for me to make drastic changes in my health, my weight, my career, my financial status.   But nothing seems to be going the way I had planned or thought it would.

My health seems to be deteriorating, my weight loss has turned in to weight-gain, my career is status quo but my financial situation has gone to hell worst than last year.

I’m coughing much more.   I’m constantly out of breath.  I’m always tired and so many parts of my body hurt.   I feel as if I’ve aged 20 years in the past month or so.

I was losing weight last year at a steady pace.  But now it seems as though I’ve gained back all 20 lbs that I managed to lose last year.  I know it’s because I’m not following my routine the way I was.  But even the determination I had last year has gone away.

My finances seem to be putting me more and more into debt without even the slightest hint of getting better any time soon.  My bed broke late last year so I needed to buy a new mattress. That put me in some debt.   Then I lost $2000 and ended up having to borrow money from a family friend to pay my first and last for the new apartment.   If that wasn’t enough, my car’s engine just blew a week ago and is costing me $3000 to either replace or $2000 to fix.  That will put me in more debt because clearly I don’t have any money saved for a rainy day.

I’ve tried looking for part-time work.  However, no one wants to hire you if you’re already working full-time or days.

2011 is not going as planned and it doesn’t seem to be getting better.

However, I must say, I am grateful for having love in my life right now.   Through all this misery and hell, I’ve had a couple of good friends, my mom and my sweetheart keeping me sane.  All four of them have kept me pushing through and urging me to get through it.

LM’s my vent destination.  He’s always there (well not physically) but via text or bbm.   ML’s my go-to person for support and crisis.  My mom’s the one promising things will get better and to have faith.   And my darling D, he’s the one wiping my tears and keeping me smiling so there aren’t any tears to wipe at all.   And most importantly, I have “HIM” up there, watching over me and guiding me through this.

I’ve got my army behind me. 2011 might not be going that well for me.  But I’ve got my army of support.  I’ll find the light at the end of the tunnel.  So bring on whatever else there is left to bring on!

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