For the longest time I have felt taken for granted, under-appreciated, ugly, unfit and have maintained a very low confidence level. Most was of my own doing. Some, thanks to the people around me.
I am a good daughter. I am a good employee. I am a good friend. I am a good sister. I am even a good girlfriend. But people still walk all over me. They treat me as if I’m not worthy of compliments or a confident attitude. I regularly feel as if I am failing in life. Although, I can blame everyone for their contributions to my low self-esteem and self-confidence, my biggest enemy is myself. People have made me feel all of those things, because I don’t believe in myself. It’s because I doubt myself and because I don’t know the value of me.
After a hurtful realization from my significant other, I finally said to myself; “enough is enough!” I will not let people walk all over me. I will not let people undermine me. I will not let people make me feel inferior. So, today I took my first step towards personal growth, personal involvement and a personal interest in myself.
I cooked dinner for “us” and then sat down with a glass of wine. Before I could even take a sip of wine, I realized that I am feeling like crap because I am letting myself feel like crap. So, I put down the glass of wine, turned on my computer, went to YouTube and found a yoga video to help me target my biggest flaw. I did 10 minutes of the workout demonstrated in the video and 10 minutes more of exercises I had learnt a long time ago. 20 minutes in and I have this great sense of myself.
I feel at peace with myself. I have not felt confident, proud or at peace with myself in a long time. Now, as I wait for D to get home, I’m not going to just sit around and waste my time. It’s a little chilly outside, but if I dress warm, I can get a good 20-30 minutes of walking into my day. I just thought I’d share this moment of self-confidence and proudness with all of you before I head out.
I know it’s only 20 minutes and maybe I shouldn’t be so proud of myself. But I am and the hell with anyone who tries to take that away from me. 🙂
Here’s an article I recently read to push myself towards ME. Why it’s not selfish to put yourself first! You enjoy the read, while I go for my walk!