D’s flying off to India next week for a month or two or more and all I want to do is just spend as much time with him as I can. But that seems like the hardest thing to do lately. He’s got a lot on his plate and our schedules just don’t sync besides spending a couple of hours every night when he gets home exhausted from work. The thought of him leaving for such a long time has me stressed, nervous, sad, and I’m just feeling a whole new type of anxiety. I can’t ask him to stay and I can’t go with him. And him being so busy with school, work and everything else in the world, doesn’t help the situation.
I know the break away from here will be good for him. But I can’t help but feel selfish and wonder how I’m going to cope without him coming home every night or being there in the morning when I first wake up or being able to call him throughout the day. I have so much free time after work, that I think I’ll just go insane out of sheer boredom. Honestly, we spend as much time as we can together but he works two (2) jobs, so that time is quite limited. But knowing that I have to get dinner ready for us, knowing that he’ll be home in a couple of hours, lets me pass my evenings easily. But now, knowing he won’t be coming home and I’ll just be making dinner for me, makes me wonder where the evenings will go and how I’ll pass my time. Don’t get me wrong, I love ME time. I love having my evenings and going for walks or lounging around the house or hanging out with my mom. But there’s always this anticipation or secret happiness that he’ll be home soon; that we’ll be together soon.
Anyway, there’s not much I can do to change that he’ll be leaving soon or that he has to go. I’m booking off next week from work to spend sometime with him and he’s not working either next week. So, it’ll be good (I hope). It’ll give us much-needed time together. I’m just not sure if he’ll be able to handle a whole week of just me. 😉
I want to plan something nice for us for next week. Something that will allow us to understand each other better. Maybe in a different environment. Something that will really give our daily routines a boost. Something that will make him miss me more than he generally would.
I doubt anyone’s reading this. But I’ll still ask for your suggestions if there is someone out there. Let me know if you have any ideas of things we can do that are inexpensive, adventurous and different.