Each one of us has some obligations to our families. Our families expect certain things from us. A quick phone call, an email, a greeting or the odd get-together. When there’s a birthday, our family member expects us to call, visit or send a gift to wish them. Although, some family members may never admit it, deep down its true; everyone wants to be acknowledged on their special day.
It seems that D is oblivious to all these obligations and expectations unless I point them out to him. And I don’t mind doing that. Except, after I do it, he delays it and then completely forgets about it all together. Then my family questions me for his lack of care. They compare him to my sister’s and cousin’s husbands and I get the joy of hearing about it. Then I have to make up excuses for him and just silence myself out of shame.
It feels like he’s in his own world, caught up in his own mind. He’s forgetful. He ignore obvious indications or over-looks concerns.
I’m venting. Yes, I know. I’m just annoyed because my mother and sister-in-law have told me and jokingly taunted me 4-5 times since yesterday that he hadn’t called to wish my nephew for his birthday. I tried telling them he was busy, that be barely even spoke to me all day, that he’s annoyed with his boss, that he got home late, and on and on and on. But I’ve run out of excuses.
Maybe I’m being unreasonable. Maybe my family is. Maybe they’re too pushy. But they treat him like a son. My mother sends dinner and special desserts for him pretty much every day. Every time I speak to her, before she even asks me how I am, she asks how he is. She’s become attached to him and he just doesn’t show an interest.
I’m almost at a point of telling my mom to back-off and not be so attached to him. She’ll just get hurt. Because he won’t show his affection the way she’ll expect and that will leave a bitter taste. I’m tired of having to point out each and everything for him. It’s like common courtesy things that he just doesn’t think of.
I love him to death but I’m just annoyed. Sigh!
- Multiple Birthday Weekend (zidditamana.wordpress.com)
- Obligation Overload (emigratebc.wordpress.com)