As a child I used to love writing in my diary. I wrote everything that I experienced, everything that I wished for and dreamt about. And as I grew older, that habit remained. That’s probably why today I have a blog. But then my life took a wide turn and I realized that my past life, hidden inside those diaries needed to be erased. I needed a fresh start and so, one-by-one I burnt each and every diary I owned.
That was one of my biggest mistakes. That turn my life had taken was supposed to be a fresh start to a new life. But it was short-lived and my precious memories were gone with it. So, I started a blog nearly two years ago. The thinking behind the blog was something different than what it became. And now, when I read my posts daily before publishing them, I realize that there are limitations within my posts.
Limitations, I’ve probably set for myself. Limitations to keep my anonymity. Limitations to avoid being judged. And so, I don’t write everything my heart desires. I don’t tell all of you each and everything. I wish I could. But I can’t. My limitations prevent me from doing so and I cannot change that just yet.
So, today at the dollar store, I saw a notebook I liked and decided it was time I put myself back into my writing. I’ve kept so much inside of me for so very long and because I don’t want everyone to know every single thing or my deepest, darkest secrets, I’ll keep a diary for myself. I guess, for me, keeping a diary has always been a stress and release therapy of some sort. I feel better when I write my heart out and openly disclose what is truly hidden inside me. Even if no one else will ever read it, I need to get it out and into the open.
So, I bought myself a diary to write in. I’m excited to finally be able to let out all that has bothered me and made me happy over the past while; which I haven’t been able to write on my blog about. I’m excited to give my heart and mind the relief that they’ve craven for so long.
But I promise you I won’t stop posting daily. I’ll continue sharing mostly everything about myself with all of you. There’s just some thoughts I need to keep to myself for now.
Wish me happy writing and do tell me what your thoughts are about keeping diaries.