Walls Between Us

I have put up walls around one of my relationships. Boundaries so to speak. I’m not completely amused by the fact. But at this point I have no other option.

One of my relationships is suffering. Everything that was in my power, I have done to try to fix this relationship. But to no avail. This person and I seem so perfect everywhere else, except for this one topic; which we don’t see eye-to-eye. We seem to constantly clash every time this topic arises and it leaves both of us frustrated and battered. But I have bruises from this relationship (not physical, of course). Wounds that have become too deep to heal. So, I’ve put up barriers and walls to prevent this person from wounding and bruising me any further.

What will this do to our relationship? I can no longer give my 100% to this person. We just don’t see eye-to-eye. I’m tired of explaining and compromising when it comes to this particular topic. I shouldn’t have to settle. I know I am not perfect, nor even close. But I should not have to constantly beg for what is rightfully mine. I should not have to constantly convince and negotiate for what I should be getting out of this relationship.

But I do. Over and over again. I beg and plead and negotiate and demand and it all goes without notice. So, I’ve had it. I am not degrading myself for this or any relationship anymore. If this person does not see the value of me, then they don’t deserve me.

So, I’ve put up walls. Walls preventing this person from pushing me any further. Unless things change, I cannot give them anymore of myself and I must prevent myself from indulging in their sweet, convincing words. No more.

Will our relationship fall apart because of the walls I’ve put up? Will we just drift away and lose this beautiful thing we have between us? I don’t know. I don’t know if this person will read this post and realize how much this is affecting me. I don’t know if they read it, whether it’ll make a difference to them or not. I don’t know if it does make a difference to them, whether they’ll try to tear down these walls between us. I just don’t know anymore.

I cannot continue to obsess over this conflict between us anymore. I just cannot.

Things need to change. But from this person’s side. Otherwise, they risk losing me altogether. </3  😦

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