Do I Expect Too Much

After a week of lavishly celebrating our anniversary, I’m questioning myself today and wondering; do I maybe expect too much of my relationship? I am the type of person to go out of my way to show the person I love that they are loved, special and the most important to me, above anything else. I don’t think about finances, there are no limitations to showing your love and so I ensure that I have done everything in my means to make the other person feel exceptional.

But somewhere through it all, I too expect a bit of what I do to be reciprocated. I too want to feel exceptional and special and loved and spoilt, even if it’s not to the extent of what I do. But that expectation doesn’t get fulfilled and now when I think back about it, seems the expectation isn’t even close to being fulfilled.

So while my spouse goes to sleep, I sit in a dark living-room wondering maybe if I’m just expecting to much. But am I really?

I understand that everyone has different ideas of showing their love. I also understand that others do take finances into consideration when displaying their love. I even understand that people might not know how to express their love. But what I don’t understand is if the love is there, shouldn’t all of this come naturally? Shouldn’t the feeling of making the person you love feel loved be easy to express?

Sure you took two days off work to spend with me alone. Sure you gave me your attention throughout those two days. But don’t I deserve to feel a bit special besides the ordinary? Don’t I deserve to receive an unexpected gesture or display of your love? I’m not one to ask for lavishing gifts. I don’t even expect to have tons of money spent on me. But what I do expect is to feel that extra little love. I do expect to have something as simple as a candlelit dinner prepared by you just for me. I do expect to have a romantic evening at home that ends with intimacy and romance. I do expect to wake up to maybe even a breakfast or tea in bed.

In my eyes, my expectations are simple, inexpensive and rational. But they still go unfulfilled.

I’m really not saying that because I did this for you, you should’ve done that for me. I’m not even counting the dollar value of the gifts. But what I am counting is the thought I put into making your gift a dream come true and the thought you put in sending me something for the sake of me thinking that you actually care.

Maybe I am expecting too much. Maybe my requests are just irrational and too much to ask for. Maybe it’s time I just completely stop expecting anything from you. Maybe that will take away the lack of feeling loved that I am feeling today.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Do I Expect Too Much”

  1. Check out Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages. Its about understanding and expressing your love & how other people (your partner) show & accept love. Its possible that he shows his affection one way & assumes that you will get it, meanwhile you need to be given love in another form or action.

    Expectations are our own desires. I don’t think that you “expect” too much, you just have a different idea of how things should be compared to what D delivered. I have a question for you Ziddi, if D knew how you wanted to spend your anniversary, would he have done it?

    Take care.

    Like

    1. I will definitely take a look at the book you recommended.

      To answer your question of whether D would do it or not, quite honestly I’m now starting to think he probably wouldn’t, unless of course I made a hugh issue out of it.

      I have in the past; which is why a chocolate basket was delivered to my work.

      I’m just at the point where I don’t want to ask for things every time a special occasion arises. It should be in the persons heart to do thinks for his/her significant other, whether big or small.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s