Postpartum Blues

Is what I’m feeling lately the ever so popular “postpartum blues”? Feelings of depression, loneliness and anxiety have engulfed me this past day or so. I feel so much less loved by my family and spouse. Maybe even a bit jealous of all the attention Ni is getting. Of course I know she is the rightful candidate for all the attention and praise lately. I mean, she is just that darn cute that I have no chance in competing with her.

But I feel somewhat neglected and a bit alone. I feel like the value of me has decreased significantly. Even D doesn’t seem interested to hear how I’m feeling of late and my mom isn’t someone I want to talk about all this with right now.

I feel tired and always ready to cry. I feel like I’m not cut out for this mom stuff. I feel like I won’t be a good mom to Ni and a good wife to D. I feel like D doesn’t love me as much as he used to. I feel sad. I feel like crying. I told D I felt like crying as hard as I possibly could but it was in the midst of a conversation about something else and he just didn’t have any reaction to this huge secret I just poured out to him. Almost seems like he didn’t hear me or ignored it all together.

Maybe I need therapy. Or maybe this is how all women feel after giving birth. I don’t know. Maybe I just need to go to sleep early and try to forget about all these depressing thoughts and try waking up with a new outlook in mind. Maybe I just need to look at Ni’s ever-so precious tiny face and put all my fears and anxiety aside and enjoy her and let her guide me to happiness.

Maybe I’ll just head to bed now and hope tomorrow brings a better day. Goodnight lovies.

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About Tamana

I am a writer by heart. I am an extremist. I struggle. I fight. I love. I live. I hate and I succeed. But most importantly, I am just an ordinary Indian GIRL living in the T-Dot trying to make a life for myself!

Posted on November 12, 2012, in Mom In Training and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I read a post just like this the other day. You should talk to your mom about your feelings. Also get in touch with your Drs. office and get info on support groups for this PPD. While a lot of this is “normal” you do need some outside help so it does not overwhelm you. Please know that others care. I am a reader from Alabama….

    • Hi there, thanks for your concern and suggestions. I’m avoiding talking to my mom about this stuff because she is highly emotional all the time and probably wouldn’t understand. But I will speak to my OB at my next appointment and see what she suggests.

      Thanks for your concern and care! Xoxo

      • I gotcha’ on mom. That you are aware of your inner thinking is a very good thing.Get some rest (when you can) and hang in there.Have a nice Monday :) PS as much as you can be Kind to yourself in all ways…

      • Thanks again. I think the person I need most right now is my hubby but he doesn’t seem to understand that. And maybe with all the fuss and muss, I’m just too tired to bother explaining it to him anymore.

        I’ll try to relax and give myself time like you suggested and see where it takes me. Xoxox

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