Like the title says, my darling angel will be starting daycare on Monday. I am absolutely heartbroken to be having to leave with complete strangers for most of the day. However, at this point, financially I don’t have a choice.
She’s starting two weeks early to give her time to adjust into the program. On Monday, D and I will both take her there and spend a couple of hours with her to help her familiarize herself with the environment and people. On Tuesday, I’ll be on my own with her and so I’ll spend a good portion of my day with her and then leave during the last few hours. Then the next day, I’ll spend less time there and so on, until she is comfortable enough be there all day without her mommy and daddy.
Did I mention, I am absolutely horrified and disgustingly sadden by the thought of it, that I insist D and everyone else not discuss the topic with me or in front of me? How do I just leave my child, my angel, the love of my life there all day without me and D to come to her rescue should she need us? How do I kiss her goodbye, like the case worker at the subsidy office explained and not keep coming back to check and see that she’s ok?
I know, she’s only been in my life for a year, but she is mine! And I can’t live without her and I’m scared and nervous and, and, and….The list just goes on. It’s not fair! My mom didn’t go back to work. She got to stay home and take care of all of us. Why do I have to go back? It’s just not fair!!!
Pardon my whining. I know I’m being unreasonable and a complete child about this. But wouldn’t you be if you were in my situation? Two more days and this horrifying experience will take place. Ok, I have to stop talking/writing about this. I’ll post on Monday and let you all know how it goes. Until then, wish me strength and courage to let my baby go.
Xoxo ~ Tamana