I haven’t been feeling like myself for the past few days and that has caused a lot of procrastination to write. Maybe its the winter blues I’m coming down with but nothing seems pleasant at the moment. Although, I am doing D’s daily Valentine’s Day gifts and am excited for the final day, I am still feeling down and unable to pump my mood up.
Plus, its felt like I’ve been busy a lot lately with nothing in-particular. Work hasn’t been crazy either, although there are so many changes happening here and home has been the same; daily, weekly chores, etc. I feel like I just don’t have enough time for everything and sleep gets in the way of that too. I’m constantly feeling tired and so need to sleep as soon as I get home and try and sleep early every night; which rarely happens. I know I am sleep deprived, I just wish I didn’t need all the sleep I was wasting time on getting. Sometimes, I miss my insomniac days; 2-3 days without sleeping. I had all the time in the world then and got to write and do all the things I love doing. These days, I don’t have the energy, will or time to do most of the things I enjoy or want to do.
So, that’s where I am these days. I have my spurts of writing 3, 4, 5 days straight and then this weird depression comes over me and I stop writing completely. I will be going in to speak with my physician about the depression again, hopefully very soon or I should probably re-start taking those anti-depressants he had prescribed to me a while back; which I took 2-3 days and stopped taking. I’ve just heard so much bad stuff about anti-depressants that I try to avoid taking them. But with the way I am feeling these days, I think it might be best if I begin taking them again.
Yes, that’s what I’ll do tonight. Look for my anti-depressants and begin taking them again. Hopefully, I can get back to being myself again.