Dearest Kindergarten Teachers:
I don’t know how to begin my note as my heart is sore and eyes wet from seeing my little kiddo crying as she’s being pulled away from me at the gates of the kindergarten entrance. I know you have many other children to look after and your job is one of the toughest in the world. You take care of, nurture and teach our children many of the things they will need in their lifetime. I also know, some of you are overwhelmed with the amount of children you have in your class as the numbers increase year after year.
But I only have the one and she is my life, my happiness, my love and the reason for me being who I am. I would hope that when I come to drop her off and when she doesn’t so easily let go of my hand and tears pour out of her eyes, that you would show a little compassion for the two of us. I too try very hard every day to push back my tears as you or your assistant pull her away from me. I would hope that you could give me a minute to calm her down and reassure her that everything will be alright and that school is where she needs to be at this time.
I know you’ve done this a hundred times or more before. But me and my child have not and we are still adjusting. Please show some compassion and let me give my little one another hug before you take her away.
An annual tradition in my house, since I was a child has been to visit The Ex aka Canadian National Exhibition on the second-last Saturday of the season. I’ve kept that tradition since Dev and I got married and since Nid was still in my tummy. Now that she’s grown, I still continue to follow that tradition and make it a point to visit The Ex every year. But this year, we decided to take the Go Train in since last year’s parking cost and drama of fighting for a spot was too much to handle for me.
The cost of admission has raised incredibly over the past few years and the after-5pm discount no longer applies to weekends. So, we spent $36 before we even crossed the entrance gate for 2 adults. Thankfully, Nid’s ticket was free because she is still under 4 year’s old.
She wanted to play lots of games to win some toys and go on the rides. But the ride tickets were so expensive, $0.75 per ticket and each ride required at least 6 tickets. That’s extremely overpriced for a ride in my opinion. The games weren’t any better. $3-$5 per game and if you win you get a dinky looking toy. Seeing all the toys, Nid was super excited to win some and so we played numerous games and let her pick the prize every time we won.
By the time we left 3 and a half hours later, we had a fried onion ring for $12, a funnel cake for $13, a bottle of water for $4 and $100 in crappy toys we won playing games. All in all, we spent nearly $200 in a matter of 4 hours and although it was somewhat fun, I don’t really feel it was worth it.
Next year, if we decide to go revisit The Ex, it will probably be for a much shorter time and definitely on a tighter budget, that is if we visit at all. I know prices of everything are going up all around us but I don’t remember The Ex being that overpriced. It was supposed to be about all the fun and ending the summer with one last day filled with games, excitement and fun and not feeling like you’ve been robbed.
Yesterday was Nid’s first day of Jr. Kindergarten and I am a complete mess. She was excited to be taking her lunch to school in her new Frozen lunchbox and containers. But she didn’t want to be in the big girl class; she wanted to stay with her best friend, who’s a year younger in their preschool. She wanted to stay with Ms. Edith and Ms. Shipra because she loves them and will miss them.
She took some great pictures outside the school and was all smiles. But once the teachers began taking their kids inside, she began to clench my hand and insisted that I stay. The teacher’s assistant slightly pulled her away; which caused her to burst into tears, resulting in mommy bursting into tears. I had been trying so hard to hold back my tears until that moment but the moment I saw her cry, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I kneeled down to hug her and reassured her that daddy or I would pick her up after school and it would be alright once she was inside with the rest of her class. Finally, the assistant pulled her away, asked me to leave and took my baby inside.
I stood near the compound of the school for a long while comforting myself and reassuring myself that she would be alright and would get through this and would eventually love school.
I left her a little congratulatory note and treat at home to encourage her and let her know how proud daddy and I are of her.
But how will I get through the fact that she’s not my baby anymore? She’s growing up so quickly and time is flying past us. She’s not my little baby anymore. She’s my big girl now and that’s terrifying for me. Day-by-day she is becoming more independent and doesn’t need me to lend her a hand. She wants to do everything on her own and barely needs her mommy anymore. And as great as that is, she’s still my little girl and I still need her to let do things for her. I’m not as ready to let go as she is.
My friends tell me that it will only get harder the bigger she gets because she’ll want to soar and fly and won’t want her mommy there all the time. Although, I know they’re right, I don’t want to believe them. I want to be the exception, that no matter how big she gets, she still looks for my hand beside her’s when she’s walking.