I’ve recently developed an abscess on my tailbone that has taken the better part of the past week to develop and come to form. It is one of the most excruciating pains I’ve ever felt in my life. I cannot sit properly, walk or even lie down on my back and getting up causes even more pain than sitting down. I’ve tried every remedy in the book and am also taking antibiotics prescribed by my physician. But nothing has helped. To add trauma to injury, I developed a fever and chills this past weekend.
If that wasn’t enough to deal with, my mother took my father to the emergency on Friday because he had severe shortness of breath. He has congestive heart failure and constantly has fluid buildup in his lungs if he doesn’t monitor his liquid intake. So, emotionally my mind has been with her and my father all weekend because she isn’t well herself and is dealing with his illness on her own.
All-in-all, it’s been a difficult few days to deal with.
Maybe I am too emotional or in so much pain that I feel the people around me have been of no help since this abscess developed.
All this emotional and physical pain caused me to have a complete meltdown this evening. Unfortunately, Nid ended up being at the receiving end of my meltdown. I was in pain and she wasn’t listening and I just began to cry and told her how I was feeling and how upset her not listening was making me and that her and her daddy hadn’t made the past few days easy for me with what I was dealing with.
And now I feel horrible because she doesn’t see me lose my cool often and so she began to cry herself after seeing me cry.
After consoling her, I finally got her to sleep. I am still feeling terrible for melting down in front of her and will speak to her about it in the morning.
But I have to wonder, should I be ashamed of what happened this evening? Our children see us at our toughest, dealing with anything and everything life throws at us. But is it okay to let them see us when we breakdown and are vulnerable?
Have any of you ever had a meltdown in front of your child? How did you deal with it afterwards? I’d love to hear some insight from any of the moms that read my blog.