Transformation, From The Inside Out

Since I made the decision to finally lose weight and get healthy, it was important to realize that my physical appearance has a lot to do with the way I feel about myself and not just what I see in the mirror or what others see. It has to do with my mental and spiritual health and that has to begin with getting the negativity out and positive energy in. It must also consist of positive self-talk. But when we have resentment or anger hidden within us, it’s nearly impossible to feel good about ourselves and others.

I have always been an advocate for keeping a diary or journal, because those are our raw thoughts that no one else is allowed to see or know. So, I took a trip to Indigo and spent way too much on a rustic leather journal for myself; a small incentive for thinking about and focusing on myself first. However, I cannot walk around with the journal all the time due to the bulkiness of it. So, I have been writing notes to myself with the date and timestamp on my iPhone notes and then later rewriting them in my fancy journal. I know, the double writing (and typing) may seem tedious; however, I have found that as I read back what I wrote earlier, it helps me reflect and sort out those thoughts and feelings.

Another tactic I have found to work towards bringing my mind and heart to peace is that I have began telling people how they make me feel. I am confronting people when things upset and hurt me. No, I am not fighting anyone, but yes, I am speaking openly. On the flip side, if someone makes me feel special or warm with something they say or do for me, I make sure to let them know that as well.

I am going through a phase of transforming who I am. I feel like I am shedding layers of resentment, anger, and unhappy thoughts. I am also realizing that I have many hidden thoughts that need to start coming out so that I can deal with them and move on. This has led me to feel more comfortable in my skin. I’m still not sleeping as much as I should, however, I am not feeling as uneasy anymore.

Baby steps! That’s all I’m focusing on, taking baby steps and everyday doing one thing that makes me feel happy, warm or thankful inside.

 And today I’m thankful for you being here and reading the journey of my battle with myself. Thank you for taking a few minutes of your time to share my life with me. 🙏🏼

~ Tamana

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