Ziddi Tamana (meaning: A stubborn desire). It’s my alias for my blog and the web world. I talk about so many personal and sometimes controversial things, family and friends included, I decided a long time ago that I would keep myself anonymous or famous just by my alias. However, as many of you may have noticed I am becoming more open about who I am by posting pictures of myself more frequently. I guess, I’ve gotten to the point in life where it doesn’t matter to me who reads my blog and I no longer have to hide behind my words. Maybe I’m maturing lol.
I love to write; which is why I launched this blog in 2009. I grew up keeping a diary. By the time I hit 21 years old, I had over 15 diaries from all my experiences growing up. One stupid episode of insecurity and I burnt all my books. It was a mistake I regret to this day. That’s where this blog came into play.
Life took lots of turns since then and so did my blog. For the people who have followed me since, you’ll know how much has happened and changed in my world. For those of you who just got here and are beginning to get to know me, you can read through the “My Life” category and you’ll catch up.
I am a mother of a beautiful baby girl. She is my pride and joy and the reason I push so hard to succeed. I was never the type of person to like the company of children, but this little angel appeared as a blessing and I can honestly say, aside from my mother, she is the most precious person in the world to me. No one other than my mother and her hold a higher place in my heart and no one ever will.
I am an emotional fool. I wear my heart on my sleeve and give it away way too easily. I love deepest and longest. Whether it’s friends, family or a special gentleman, my heart is all theirs and I ensure they know that. They’ll never know the true depth of my love because one could not imagine another loving them that much, but I do. If you are mine, on any level, I am all yours.
But I am also one of those people that would happily cut someone out of my life. I have no problem breaking my own heart to ensure my sanity and stability stay intact. That doesn’t go to say that I won’t give them endless chances or forgive them over and over again. I will guide them and love them through every pain they give me. Until I can’t anymore. Then without an explanation they are forgotten, erased, deleted from every particle of my being.
I am an extremist. I love to the extreme and hate equally. I don’t believe in a half-ass job, relationship, goal or anything of the sort. I either give myself fully or not at all. Most people don’t like that about me. And I really couldn’t care less if they do or don’t. Life is too short to care what others think, what others expect, what others say. This is my life and so I live it my way; if you like it, stay and enjoy the experience, if you don’t, there’s a door I’d happily slam after pushing you through it.
I am who I am and there isn’t a soul in the world that could change, influence or convince me to be otherwise.
Knowing all of that, you are now probably wondering why I chose the name Ziddi Tamana for both my blog and myself. The reason is as simple as it is complicated. A stubborn desire to live, to get through all that is thrown at me, to not give up is the purpose of this blog. Life has been tough for me. There have been many occasions when I nearly gave up. Something inside me; my stubborn desire to live, pushed me forward and kept me moving. I never gave up.
Ziddi Tamana is about my life. It’s who I am. It’s who I’ve become and who I am becoming everyday. No matter what life has thrown at me, whether good or bad, I have fought through it, enjoyed it and even laughed about it and because of that I am still here. That is my stubborn desire.
You’ll find here details of all the experiences I encounter. You’ll find my opinion, sometimes unreasonable and harsh and other times sensitive and overly caring. I’ll discuss things that other people may find taboo or hard to talk about.
To be honest, you’ll either love reading my blog or absolutely end up hating me for it. But personally, it’s my opinion and not everyone has to love it. There are things in my life and world that I absolutely love and hate and cannot go without discussing. If any of those things offend or insult you, then suck it up and move on. My intention isn’t to insult or offend anyone. I just need to get my words and thoughts out into the open and if you don’t like it then just simply leave. Or better yet, stay and have a conversation with me and discuss your opinion and who knows I may change your opinion or you may change mine.
The bits and pieces you should know:
- My identity: Tamana aka Ziddi
- I’m a women aged 36 (37 in November)
- Scorpio and damn proud of it
- I live in Toronto, ON – Canada
- My ethnicity is Indian by birth and Canadian by upbringing
- I am a mother of an angel named Nid
- I have 3 siblings
- My parents are my everything
- My mother is my best friend
- I don’t like people much but will tolerate a few
- I am known to be a bold, outspoken person and that makes me so proud of myself
- Music is my life
- I am a foodie
- I love writing, poetry, dancing, driving for endless hours without a destination and playing the slots at the casinos
- I love hockey and played defence all through high school
- I have a soulmate/twin flame on the other side of the world that I’ve never met
- I’m a Leafs fan for life
- I hate going to the mall (hate shopping)
- My go-to accessory is one of my Fossil watches
- I know cars and can change my cars oil; I wanted to be a mechanic
- I am obsessed with getting inked; my body tells my story
- When I’m stressed, I bake like a crazy woman on crack. Yeah, 3 2-layer cakes, 40 muffins is just the beginning
- Figuring out motherhood
- Working on myself both physically and mentally
- Exploring ways to make more money and expand my career
- Adding to and checking off items on my bucket list
- Writing my memoirs
- Writing the story of SQ