Category Archives: My Life

Life of a mom-in-training. Everything from emotional confessions, relationships details and tips and daily life.

Quick Update: Week 1 Complete

I’ve just finished my first week of school and am happy to say that I have enjoyed it. It’s a cramped course; which will be completed in eight months, so there’s a lot of information to process. However, I think I’ve done good so far. 

I’m taking lots of notes and writing every detail down which may be useful. In addition, I plan to review my notes and highlight my textbook with important points this weekend. 

This past week has given me the opportunity to understand how hard PSW’s and nurses work. It’s also shown me how much support some people will need as they age; making me reflect on my own aging parents and loved ones. I’m glad I decided to take this course. It will enable me to treat and care for my aging parents in a manner that will make their upcoming old-age slightly more comfortable.

This morning as I was getting ready to leave for school, I couldn’t help but wonder if my parents would come stay with me when they’re old and unable to fend for themselves. I would be the perfect caregiver for them because by the time they will be that old, I would be well-trained and hopefully working in my profession for a few years. I can only hope that they would give me the honour to repay them for the years of love, care and compassion they’ve given me all these years and allow me to care for them in their time of need. Time shall tell. 

Anyway, that was my first week in review. I’ll keep you guys and gals posted on how I progress over the next several weeks. Until then, my lovelies, enjoy your weekend and stay safe and blessed.

Xoxo ~ Tamana 

The Beginning Of A New Chapter 

Today I start a new chapter of my life; I’m starting school! I’m super excited and nervous all at the same time; it’s been over 10-12 years since I last went to college. I’m anxious to begin and start learning a bunch of new things. But my stomach is also in knots thinking about how I’ll do. 

Please wish me success with my new chapter and pray that I make it to the end with flying numbers! I’ll keep you guys updated on my progress as I move forward. 

Thanks in advance and don’t forget to pray for me!

Xoxo ~ Tamana

The End Of Another Chapter 

Today I close another chapter of my life and embark on a journey towards bigger and better things. I’ve decided to end my relationship with the media industry and also quit working with/for my husband. 

A year ago, I quit my project management job out of frustration towards ill-behaved managers and lack of professionalism. I joined my husband at a restaurant he has stakes in and became his business development assistant manager. That role entailed me to develop marketing plans for him to reach new clients and promote his catering offerings. My success is that he now has at least four new house accounts that frequently order catering from him. I was also his cashier, administrator and voice for all email communication.

It was nice to work in a self-employed environment; making my own shifts and developing new business ideas. But that ship has sailed and I’m ready to do something new and different, away from the food and media industry.

My father always hoped that one of his children would go into the healthcare industry; whether it was to become a doctor, a nurse, a physiotherapist or medical assistant. None of us did; until now.

On Monday, I begin working towards becoming a Personal Support Worker (PSW). It was a tough decision but one I had to take to ensure the betterment of my career and future of my family. I’ve had a lot of people give me a critical reaction to my decision to become a PSW but that hasn’t altered my decision; my biggest critic and supporter being my husband. 

It’s hard work, I get it. However, it is also rewarding work and I’m moving into an industry that will never phase out. Plus, I can be a very selfish person at times and for me this new job will be a way of giving back to the world and possibly enlightening a few people’s lives that I may touch. 

I’m excited to be starting this new journey of mine and hope that I will succeed in it as I have in previous journies. I hope you’ll all send your good wishes and thoughts my way as I embark on my new career path and goals.

5 Year Anniversary 

Yesterday, Dev and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary. We didn’t do anything extravagant or buy any gifts for each other this time around. We just spent the whole day together, with Nid and my family as my mother had prepared an amazing lunch for us. It was a nice day. 

As we were driving home from their house, I reminisced on all we had gone through over the past five years. All the ups and all the downs, all the fun trips, exploring and experiencing new things. All of the disagreements and moments when our personalities clashed. All the times we held each other and overcame our doubts and fears. And through all the those years and events, I realized that I married a gem-of-a-person because not once did he make me feel inferior to him or give me a doubt that we’d separate. He held my hand through it all and always reassured me that we’d get through it. 

As I remember everything we’ve done and experienced, I cannot help but count my blessings for having met the love of my life. I cannot thank him enough for loving me and taking care of me the way that he does. 

Happy Anniversary, babe. I love you and forever will and can’t wait to hold your hand through the next 50-60-70 years with you!

What Are We Leaving Our Children Behind To?

People encourage me to have another child. My parents, relatives, friends and even regulars at the restaurant tell me that I should have another child before Nid gets too old. I tell them I’m not ready and physiologically and financially cannot afford another child right now.

The fact of the matter is that I am horrified to have the one that I already have grow up in this world and what it’s becoming. Isis killing the Europeans. Americans killing Americans. A race fight. Honour killings. Pedophiles. Gang rapes. People overdosing on drugs that even experts can’t explain. The world is pretty much fucked and it’s just going to get worst.

It scares me shitless thinking my little Nid will one day walk this earth without her parents. How will she deal with everything this world is turning into? How will she cope with all of this? Especially, when her own parents are having a hell of a time handling everything happening in the world.

Sometimes I turn on the news first thing in the morning and nearly end up crying. It’s devastating seeing what human beings are doing to each other and to our planet. How can I imagine another child in this world? I mean, tough luck for Nidhi, she was a golden child so she’s here without a choice of her’s or mine. And I will do everything in my power to leave her in a place where she is strong, brave and capable of handling anything that comes her way. But to intentionally bring another child into this world knowing everything that is happening seems a bit stupid. 

On the flip side, I think God forbid something were to happen to Dev and I, at least Nid would have a sibling. She would need a sibling and companion who knew exactly what she was going through. 

But will they actually be there for each other? I mean, look at me and my brother, we haven’t spoken in nearly 10 years and quite frankly, I’m happy it’s that way. So when I think about that relationship, I figure its best not to have a sibling at all. But that’s my own drama that we’ll keep out of this post for the sake of sanity.

The important matter is that if I bring another child into this world knowing that I haven’t done anything to better it would be a sin and lack of compassion for this world and my children. So, I’ve decided to pay it forward. As most of you know, I can be an incredibly selfish person but equally caring and loving. I am taking a new step in my life to help others and give a little back to this sometimes bitter world. 

Along with changing my career completely so I may help people (details to come), I am also going to be taking Nid with me to help clean our community on afternoon walks on the weekends. Aside from that, I will begin collecting clothes, toys, food from my own home to donate to shelters for youth. I think our youth need the most support right now because after we leave, it will be them that walk this earth and I hope with my efforts, I can change someone’s life for the betterment of their future and cause them to do a little good. 

I know, it’s not a lot but every effort helps and will better our world a bit at a time. I hope my new outlook to better this world for my child, will spark a flame inside of you to also do a little for the betterment of your children and the world they’ll live in. 

He Wasn’t My Best Friend, After All. 

I had a best friend; he was one of the closest people to me. He knew all my secrets and all of my fears. I shared everything with him and went out of my way to always make him smile. When he asked me for a favour, I made it my priority to fulfill it. I was always there. He was my best friend in the whole world. 
Or so I thought.

He was never actually my best friend. I was never actually his priority. He never went out of his way to make me smile or happy. He was just a friend. Yes, he made me smile and he helped me out when I asked. 

But he let my friendship with him nearly end over another relationship. 

He left a year ago and recently came back. Prior to coming back, we spoke once. He apologized for everything and I forgave him. 

When I found out he was finally coming back, I thought I was getting my best friend back. I thought everything would go back to how it previously was. I thought…so much. But none of it did.

He came back completely changed. He wasn’t the person I called my best friend. The fact that I even consider him a friend now is surprising to me. Although jokingly, he denies being my friend at all. We argue now and he puts me down in front of other people. He questions my decisions and motives. He treats me as if he is just tolerating me because we work together. 

Since he’s been back, I’ve tried talking to him and figuring out why he acts the way he does towards me. But he just responds with sarcasm or ignores the question all together. I’ve tried to leave things as they are and move on but find it ridiculously hard to do so. This person was supposed to be the person I called my best friend. He was supposed to be my support system and one of the ones making me laugh and smile. 

But he no longer was any of those things. Or maybe he was never any of those things to start with and it was an illusion of my own mind. I was his best friend but he was never mine and may never be.

Happy 35th Birthday, My Love

On the 27th of February, we celebrated my husband’s 35th birthday. I was at work all day as was he. But I prepared an amazing dinner before I left for work and set the table with champagne, a flower and cake in the fridge. It would’ve been the perfect surprise had he not been expecting something more elaborate and fun filled. 

For past 6 years that my husband and I have been together, I have always thrown him a birthday bash; cooked all the food myself and invited all his friends over for a night of drinking and dinner. In previous years, I would shower him with gifts starting early in the month, as I did this time. 

But I didn’t throw the big birthday bash this year. There was a bash but at a friend’s house for husband and another friend. It was supposed to be a trio birthday bash. But I had to cancel my portion of it and now I feel like I let Dev down. He’s a simple and sweet guy, he doesn’t ask for much but I’m sure he was expecting a big bash with all his friends present. I’ve felt terrible all week that I didn’t throw the big bash.

So, today, all of his friends are joining us at a restaurant for a surprise birthday dinner for him. He doesn’t know and thinks it’s just Nid, me and him going. I’m super excited that all his friends are going to be there and I’ve arranged for a cake and drinks will be on me for the whole gang. Hopefully, my love will enjoy his dinner. 

I’ll post pics of tonight’s dinner and celebration in a couple of days. Have a blessed weekend and hope my dinner plans go smoothly!

~Tamana