Feeling Ugly

When I look at people around me; at work, on the streets, in the car next to me, I wonder…how do these people keep themselves looking so perfect? I know that everyone has their flaws and dislikes about themselves. But lately, it seems like there are just too many beautiful people around me.

I know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that beauty comes from the inside. But I am strictly speaking of appearance and nothing else. These people around me are not celebrities or even stunning. But they are beautiful. The grace with which they walk, talk and carry themselves is absolutely beautiful.

And I am jealous! There I said it. I’m jealous, jealous, jealous!

When I look at myself in the mirror, I do not see beauty. I see dry, scaly skin. Thinned out, outdated hair. Fat, disgusting curves and clothes that just don’t fit properly. No matter how hard I try to give myself facials and keep my hands and feet looking neat and clean, I don’t look beautiful. No matter how hard I try to dress well, my clothes just don’t seem to look right.

Yes, I can keep buying clothes to “try” to make myself look professional and thin. And yes, I can keep “trying” to lose weight and eat the proper foods. And yes, I can keep “trying” to apply the right amount of moisturizer and make up to make my face look flawless. But nothing seems to help. By the time I get to work or wherever I am supposed to be going, my face, clothes, skin just look terrible.

So, what do I do? How do I make myself look beautiful? How much more money do I waste on looking beautiful!

I am becoming hopeless. I feel ugly today. 😦



Okay, so it’s ridiculously boring at work right now. I mean, it’s really slow. I completed all of my daily work and then some. I’ve even researched on other companies and government listings. There is absolutely nothing to do and I’m going nuts. I can’t just sit around doing nothing for the next hour and a half. But what should I do?

I’ve asked my bosses for extra work and it doesn’t seem like anyone has anything for me to do so, I’m back on WP. The only problem with me being on WP is that I barely have anything to write about!

We’ll I was given a project earlier this morning that’s due next week but it’s such a tedious task! I have to collect information on about 60 client accounts and update it into a master spreadsheet. Then once I’m done collecting all this information for these “top-priority” clients, I have to collect the same information for the other 30 or so clients. Yay! Joy to my friggin world!

I know, I know! I asked for the extra work. But still. What a tedious, boring task.

Sigh! I’m going to get back to it. Might as well get ahead of myself and get it done before the deadline.

Ciao for now!


I’ve been slacking on posting lately. Seems like every time I am ready to start writing, all thoughts and words leave me. It’s actually becoming quite frustrating.

Anyway, nothing too interesting has been going on lately that’s probably what’s causing the thoughts to drift away. I need to find some inexpensive ways to enlighten and boost my life. Going for walks is cool and all, but there’s not much to get excited about when you’re walking in the same area all the time and I’ve seen my area pretty closely.

Money is very tight right now so I can’t afford to be out and about spending and wasting. I’m also thinking about selling some jewelry and getting a part-time job on top of my full-time one. I know that will make my financial situation must lighter. 🙂

Well, that’s all for now. I have to get back to work. I promise, I’ll post again soon. Until then, cheers!

Pep Talk

Had an interesting meeting this morning with one of my bosses. He suggested that I go back to school part-time; maybe take some Business courses. He says that I am a “bright” person and he thinks I’ll do very well in our industry. But he would like to see me take more of a strategic role. He wants me to start thinking of ways to expand our business.

Interesting thought! I felt quite excited after our brief chat. While I was walking back to my desk, I kept thinking of what it would be like to go back to school, even if it was part-time. I felt enthusiastic about it.

He mentioned taking courses and then having a long-term goal of getting an Executive MBA. He also mentioned that the EMBA would cost nearly $89,000 CAD. Plus, $400-$1,000 per course that I took before enrolling into the EMBA program.

Reality hit me pretty-fast after the figures started circling my head. Where in the world would I get $89,000 to pay for my tuition, let alone $400-$1,000 per course? I can barely make ends meet now, how am I supposed to fund schooling?

Vie isn’t working. He’s trying to look for work. Sadly though, he hasn’t found anything yet. His EI ends pretty soon and then it will be my income we survive from.

But going back to school. Being one of those people who I sit and envy when they talk about going to this university and doing that course. Me being one of them? That would be something!

But the question remains, how would I fund it? 😦 Saddened am I.

My credit’s literally fucked. I have no relatives that would help. My parents won’t help. So, how do I do it? What do I tell my boss when he asks me again whether I’ve thought about it or not?


Hydrated, Rejuvenated, Glowing Face

Hydrated, Rejuvenated, Glowing Face

Hydrate, Rejuvenate and make your face Glow!

1. Mash a banana into a small bowl of milk. Mix the two ingredients well until a paste is made. Then apply the paste onto your face and neck area. Leave this on for about 20 minutes and wash off with cold water.
||My Results: The smell is not that great but the result was great. Soft, fresh looking skin.||

2. Take a cold slice of skinned Papaya and rub it all over your face and neck. Leave on for about 15 minutes and wash off with cold water.
||My Results: Smells good, nice cooling effect and good results.||

3. Mix equal parts of vinegar and chilled rose-water. Apply to your face and neck. Leave on for about 5-10 minutes and wash off with cold water.
||My Results: Still need to try this. Will post comments in a few days||

4. Mix Pineapple and carrot juice. Apply to face and neck. Leave on for about 10 minutes and wash off with cold water.
||My Results: Still need to try this. Will post comments in a few days||

5. Boil 8 cups of water, 4-6 slices of cucumber, 2 tea bags and dark organic honey. Cover and place in refrigerator overnight. Following morning, apply to face and neck area. Leave on for about 15 minutes and wash off with cold water.
||My Results: Still need to try this. Will post comments in a few days||

6. Mix honey and Tomato juice. Apply the thick paste onto face and neck area. Leave on for about 10 minutes and wash off with cold water.
||My Results: Still need to try this. Will post comments in a few days||

7. Mix egg yolk and honey. Apply onto face and neck area. Leave on for about 15 minutes and wash off with cold water.
||My Results: Smells absolutely dreadful. But the result was fantastic. My skin was extra soft and had a well needed glow to it.||

8. Mix honey, lemon juice and vegetable oil. Chill in refrigerator for about 20-25 minutes. Apply to face and neck area. Leave on fr about 15 minutes and rinse with cold water.
||My Results: Ok! So, I tried this and let me just say Yuck! Horrible smelling combination. It never turned into a paste, therefore, the liquidy substance was quite messy. Overall result was nothing special. My recommendation, DON’T TRY THIS!||


9. Want a natural face-lift? Try this remedy out. With continued use, the results are quite amazing. I’ve been doing this once a week for 2 weeks now. I’m finding my face feeling and looking much more youthful.

Starting off with a basic natural face lift would be impossible without mentioning EGGS. Eggs are rich in protein albumin, rich in amino acids that tone the skin and smooth out the fine lines.

How to prepare it…

  • 2 egg yolks
  • 1 teaspoon of sugar


  • Whisk the egg yolks until the mass is firm and consistent
  • Add sugar gradually and mix well to combine the two
  • Apply on the face and leave on for 25 minutes
  • Wash off with warm water using a wash cloth

Social Media

Evey where you turn, all the buzz around the world is about social media. Everyone is getting online. Everyone who’s anyone is online. From daily updates to current geographical locations; it’ online. Every thing can be found online. From shopping to who said what to who did or made or wore what; is online!

So why is our world and lives so dependent on what’s online? Why are we so reliant on good ‘old goggle and alike search engines? Why are these search engines becoming the “go-to” place for information?

It’s because our world is changing at a speed which we are not yet adapted to. It’s due to a changing economy and how our generation is communicating. It’s due to how “convenient” the world-wide web is.

But does this mean we are turning our future into a lazy one? Does it mean that people will eventually stop leaving their houses and just “e-shop”, “e-live”? Isn’t the convenience of the internet making us all a tad bit lazy?

Emails, letters, even phone calls are old news. If you want to talk to someone, you’ve got to be on Facebook or Twitter or My Space.

I work for an online recruiting giant and lately we’re seeing a decline our numbers. The LinkedIns and Facebooks are becoming the place for recruiters to post their jobs on. Although those aren’t free services, the reach is incredible on these sites.

Not only can you search for jobs on LinkedIn but you can also refer a friend and even send the posting to the friend.

Companies like mine are taking a major hit. We’re trying to keep up with the ever-changing Internet.

Then there’s the companies like Yellow Pages and WebLocal who are creating and implementing software to monitor what people are saying about them.

WebLocal has already created the “online reputation” solution for companies to be able to monitor and defend their reputation.

With the way world is turning, it is highly predicted that all companies will need to add a similar system to assure their survival. People will be looking online for answers on what a company is like and whether their friends have use the company and it’s products and services. If they have, their friends reviews will be a major reason when deciding to use the company or not. This will be come the relying point of a company’s survival.

The internet is becoming a world that will be a huge facet to our survival.

Beauty Tips

Beauty Tips

I’ve spent the last few days thinking and wondering on how to make myself look more youthful. You see, I am a smoker, I am overweight and just starting to work on my diet. My skin is starting to look aged and dull. I want to bring the pop back into my skin; get that natural glow!

Most of this evening has been spent by me searching the internet for tips and secrets from around the world. I’ve found a few interesting tips. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to give credit to all the websites and authors as I’ve mainly been putting in my notes into WordPad. However, I will let you know none of these tips are mine and have been taken through various sources.

Most of you that are reading these tips will have probably have come across them through other searches. However, what you will find different here is that I’m going to give you in-depth details on how I used these items and what the results were.

As I keep my research going, I will add more notes. So, stay tuned!

a stubborn desire…

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