Tag Archives: facebook

Living Our Best Fake Lives

A couple of days ago I decided to deactivate my Facebook account. I have been an active member of Facebook for over nine years. However, over the past couple of weeks, I realized that everything we post on Facebook and other social media platforms is only partially true. We are all living our best fake lives when sharing them on social media websites and apps. We never post pictures of the depression we deal with or the miseries and setbacks we encounter.

Why is that?

Why is it that we must show the world our very best and not things that make us weak or fragile? After all, each and every one of us struggles with something or the other. But why is it that we only capture the good things that happen to us and share those? Why is it okay to suffer in solitude but celebrate in a crowd?

I recently read a quote that said:

We are a sad generation with happy pictures. – author unknown

The quote struck a nerve with me and resulted in me deactivating my Facebook account. I am tired of showing family and a few very close friends only the partial truth of my life. Yes, my Instagram account is still active and I post on it frequently but do you know what the difference between my Facebook and Instagram account is? My Facebook account had all my family from overseas on it and Instagram has a few friends, many acquaintances and tons of strangers on it. On Instagram I am open about my feelings and miseries, I frequently share quotes about things that may be happening in my life at the moment. Quite frankly, on Instagram I don’t care if anyone judges me because they are not family. But on Facebook, I posted the happy family moments, shared my achievements and celebrations. Because somewhere deep down I know that if I shared the miseries or full reality of my life, I would be judged by my family.

How pathetic is that? We wear a mask in front of our family and bare it all for complete strangers. But that is the reality many of us are living.

With all the changes happening in my life right now, I decided I didn’t want to pretend to be a happy person just for the sake of not being judged, so I deactivated my Facebook account. The family that wants to stay in touch with me will do so by other means and if they actually care enough to know what the full reality of my life is they’ll contact me and ask. Simple as that.

I’m done pretending that I’m living my best life, when in reality that isn’t the truth. Everyone has ups and downs in life, some more than others, either way, we all struggle. So, why put on a show pretending that all is perfect and well when the truth is far from that?

~Tamana

Sometimes Letting Go Is The Only Option

People come into our lives all the time. Sometimes they stay for a little while and leave. Sometimes they stay for a long while and leave a footprint on our hearts. Then there are people that come into our lives who you think you’ll know forever because you automatically hit if off; connected with them in a way you haven’t connected with anyone else before and then they suddenly depart. It leaves you searching for answers and looking for reasoning. You cannot come to terms with the fact that this person has departed your life without even as much as a goodbye. Days pass by. Weeks pass by. Even months pass by. You try your hardest to reach out to them, but they don’t respond.

Then there comes the hard decision to delete them from your social media accounts and close their chapter in your life for good. Clearly they are not responding because they have moved on. Shouldn’t you do the same?

For me, letting go of someone I considered such a great friend is extremely difficult. Over the past 8 months, day-by-day I have lost a little bit more of my friend to the point where I don’t think people would even consider us friends anymore. But I did still consider her to be my friend, that is until this morning when I took the decision to “unfriend” her off Facebook. It was an extremely hard decision but one that needed to be done.

I only allow access to people on Facebook if they are active in my life and/or a relative I care enough about to continue to keep in touch with them. When I first opened my Facebook account, I had over 1000 “friends” on it. As the years passed by, I realized I wasn’t going to speak to nearly 900 of these people ever in my life again and if that was the case, they didn’t need to know what was going on in my personal life and vice-verse. I learned this a long time ago – the more people you interact with from your past, the more drama its going to cause. So, for the last couple of years, I’ve done an annual clean-up and purge of my Facebook contacts, keeping only a select bunch that truly matter.

This is why it was so hard for me to delete her from Facebook.

For the past 4 years of my life, during some of the biggest moments of my life, she was there. She supported me. She celebrated me. She was my shoulder. She was my big sister. She was my mentor at work. And now she’s gone. I don’t know what went wrong and why. I guess it is what it is and I should suck it up and move on. It just hurts me and makes me sad that she recently celebrated one of the biggest things in her life and I was nowhere near part of it the way she was for me during my time.

I wonder if she’ll ever look back at the last 4 years and remember the crazy, funny, amazing times we had. If she does and recalls my blog, she’ll stumble upon this post and realize its about her and when she does, I want her to know that I am thankful for everything she did for me over the past 4 years. I’m thankful for the friend she was and grateful to have met her. I will miss her and never forget her. I wish her happiness, health and love for all her life. And if our paths ever were to cross again, I hope we can meet the way we were before today.

The Facebook Pay-It-Forward Initiative

I took part in this in my personal Facebook. Would you?

To start this year off in a positive way, I’m participating in the Pay-It-Forward initiative. The first ten people who comment on this status with “I’m in” and inbox me their mailing address, will receive a surprise from me at some point in this calendar year – anything from a book, a ticket, a visit, baked goods, a postcard, or absolutely any surprise. There will be no warning and it will happen when I find something that I believe would make you happy. These ten people must make the same offer in their FB status and distribute their own joys as well. Simply copy and paste this as your status (do not share..copy &paste please), so we can form a web of connection and kindness. Let’s do more nice and loving things for each other in 2014 without any reason other than to make each other smile and to show that we think of each other outside of Facebook, too. Here’s to a more enjoyable, happy and friendly year of gratitude!

Cheers!

~Tamana

Changes To My Blog

Sorry lovies, for changing my blog theme unannounced. I’ve been getting lots of comments and questions about why the categories don’t show on the homepage of my blog lately. The theme I was using doesn’t allow for it, since I had time yesterday I changed it all up. I hope it still looks readable and is easier to navigate now.

I also wanted to let you all know that I’m going to be add some new pages to my blog and possibly have a new writer contribute. I’m still working on the deals of this new author and once I have more information on how often and when she’s going to begin contributing I’ll let you all know. Until then, enjoy the new layout and do let me know how you like it now.

Xoxox ~ Tamana

 

2012 In Review; The Blog

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

19,000 people fit into the new Barclays Center to see Jay-Z perform. This blog was viewed about 100,000 times in 2012. If it were a concert at the Barclays Center, it would take about 5 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

An Inspirational Story

Happy Monday, lovies. Let’s get your week started with an inspirational story. This was recently on my Facebook feed and it’s quite touching. So, I thought I’d share if with you! 🙂 Please read this, long but beautiful story.

When I was a kid, my mom liked to make food for dinner and every now & then I remember she used to cook for us. I remember one night in particular when she had made dinner after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of bread jam and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I was waiting to see if anyone noticed the burnt biscuits!! But dad just ate his biscuit and asked me how was my day at school. I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember I heard mom apologizing to dad for burning the biscuits. And I’ll never forget what he said:
“Honey,I love burned biscuits.”
Later that night, I went to kiss daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said,”Your momma put in a long hard day at work today and she was really tired. And besides…A burnt biscuit never hurts anyone but harsh words do! “You know, life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people….I’m not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. What I’ve learned over the years, is that learning to accept each others faults and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences,is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing,and lasting relationship. Please pass this along to someone who has enriched your life…

I just did!
Life is too short to wake up with regrets…
Love the people who treat you right and have compassion for the ones who don’t.
ENJOY LIFE NOW:)It has an expiry date….

On My Way To India

I'm on my way to India as many of you read this, Toronto --> Abu Dhabi --> New Delhi.

Yes, the day has finally come when I’m on my way to make my happily ever after come true. My wedding is less than ten days away and there are so many feelings running through me right now.

I’m getting married in ten days! I’m so excited and eager to finally become D’s wife. I’m going to start the rest of my life. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am. Along with the wedding, I’m finally going back to India! I’ve missed India since I left four and half years ago. I’ve missed my friends dearly and the life I had in India for those six months I was there last. And finally, I’m on my way!

By the time you all read this I will have boarded the plane already. I had to set up all my posts in advance for today as for the rest of March, since I knew I probably wouldn’t have much time today.

As the month progresses, you’ll all get to know me better because I’ve left a great treat for you. I’ve written multiple posts about my life and who I really am and have scheduled them to go live every other day. Unfortunately, there weren’t enough to post daily. But hopefully if technology’s on my side, I’ll get to post from India. I just don’t what the wi-fi and Internet usage is there. But I promise to try.

So, wish me luck and give me all your blessings. And don’t forget to check back regularly because although, I’ll be away, I’ve left my story for all of you to read as a backup.

I’ll see you all at the end of March. Until then, lots of hugs, lovies! xoxo

Tamana~