Tag Archives: marriage

Our 6 Year Anniversary 

6 years ago, yesterday, D and I got married without telling anyone in our families. 

I had always wanted to elope whenever I found the right guy for me and D made that happen. We eventually, went through with the “asking for my hand in marriage” shenanigans, engagement and “big-Indian wedding” drama. But the wedding we secretly had 6 years ago on August 10th, 2011 was far more meaningful to me than the wedding that involved our families. 

We were blessed to find one another and everyday that passes, I count those blessings and thank the powers above for bringing us together. We’ve had a few rough patches but we’ve pulled through and I am ever so thankful for such a patient, reliable, respectful and loving guy to have walked into my life. 

Happy 6 year’s anniversary, my love and thank you for being my strength, encouragement and joy. Here’s to us!

5 Year Anniversary 

Yesterday, Dev and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary. We didn’t do anything extravagant or buy any gifts for each other this time around. We just spent the whole day together, with Nid and my family as my mother had prepared an amazing lunch for us. It was a nice day. 

As we were driving home from their house, I reminisced on all we had gone through over the past five years. All the ups and all the downs, all the fun trips, exploring and experiencing new things. All of the disagreements and moments when our personalities clashed. All the times we held each other and overcame our doubts and fears. And through all the those years and events, I realized that I married a gem-of-a-person because not once did he make me feel inferior to him or give me a doubt that we’d separate. He held my hand through it all and always reassured me that we’d get through it. 

As I remember everything we’ve done and experienced, I cannot help but count my blessings for having met the love of my life. I cannot thank him enough for loving me and taking care of me the way that he does. 

Happy Anniversary, babe. I love you and forever will and can’t wait to hold your hand through the next 50-60-70 years with you!

5 Year’s Of Wedded Bliss

Five years ago, Dev and I were sitting on the balcony drinking beer after a long days work. It was the perfect night, the perfect moment and the perfect conversation. I don’t know what dawned on me but I turned to him and said, “I want to marry you! Will you marry me?” I completely expected a shocked reaction and an argument over why not. But instead, received the words I didn’t think were on his mind; “I want to marry you, too.” I think I almost died and went to heaven before I came to terms with what he had just said. I told him it had always been my dream to elope with my true love without telling anyone. He said, “then let’s do it.” “Whaaa-t?” I exclaimed back. 

We decided to get married in court the following Wednesday. But the Friday night before that, he got into a car accident, that left him carless but injury-free. It was a horrifying event. He could’ve been paralyzed or killed.

The car accident left me wondering if us getting married was a bad idea. I didn’t speak about it the rest of the week. But that following Friday night as we sat on the balcony again, I look on his faces, that perfect conversation started again and I said, “accident or not, bad omen and all, I still want to marry you, when you’re ready.” He said, “I was ready last week and I’m still ready now. Let’s get our marriage license and get married.”

They say, “what’s meant to be, will be”, and so it has been five years. 
When I look back at the last five years, I see tears, arguments, anger even. But then the laughter, adventures, happiness, crazy, moments overpower all the bad days. I’m bold, outspoken, straightforward, intense and extreme. He’s calm, laid back, easygoing, and relaxed. I guess, that’s why we’re still together and enjoying each other’s company still. We got for dinners, try new restaurants, explore new destinations locally and ride on each other’s strengths. We don’t overlook the others weaknesses or try to change them based on our opinions. But instead, encourage the other to be who we need to be at this very moment and either adjust to the weakness or fight it out. 
It’s been a beautifully adventurous five years and I am blessed to have met him and to have gone with my gut when it told me he was the one. Happy 5 Year Anniversary, Dev. Here’s to another 5, 10, 15, 20, or 50 years of craziness with you! 

A Weekend To Reconnect

When you’re married, when you have a child or children, when you’re both working full-time and different shifts; life takes a toll on your marriage. Your relationship and understanding of each other is put to the test. Your ability to communicate to each other is weighed by the obstacles and dilemmas occurring in your life at that specific moment. Taking the time to talk and discuss pressing matters or even how you’re feeling becomes a major task in itself.

Your life and everything in it, weighs you down. Your spouse and you stop communicating because you don’t have the time to make the other person understand what you are saying and when you say what you want to say without explaining it, the two of you just end up bickering at each other or walking away in frustration. So, you stop communicating all together.

Of course, you talk to each other on the phone during working hours and for the few minutes you see each other before bedtime. But you don’t actually talk-talk, like discuss what’s going on and how you’re feeling. And all that not talking, leads to resentment. It leads to misunderstandings. It leads to regret. It leads to wondering why you got married and all those other millions of questions that follow that why.

Sometimes, you need to put everything aside and decide to make the time and effort to work on your marriage and that is exactly what D and I are doing this weekend. We’re going away for a mini vacation with the hopes of working some of our differences away. It took a lot of effort and planning to get to this point but we need it. I’ve felt like we were drifting away from each other and due to the lack of time, there was a lot of frustration and resentment building up. 

I’m hoping to come back refreshed and a bit less frustrated. 

How do you deal with your domestic drama and lack of communication? Have any tips to share? I’d love to discuss! Let me know and wish me luck on my mini-vacay (hopefully we don’t beat the crap out of each other in the process). Lol!

My husband is not my soul-mate and that’s okay

20111023-192831A few weeks ago, I wrote about my soul-mate. My soul-mate is a person I have never met before. He lives on the other side of the world and there probably isn’t a chance I’ll ever get to meet him. After writing this post, I got a few concerning reactions from friends who read my blog. They questioned my intentions for this man and the integrity of my relationship with my husband. To clarify my “soul-mate” blog post: 1. I have a soul mate. 2. My husband is not my soul-mate. 3. I love my husband and am in a happy, loving relationship with him.

My husband: He is my best-friend. He is my love and the one I have chosen to spend the rest of my life with. He is who I want to grow old with and walk hand-in-hand with. He is who I turn to when all the happiness in the world is filled in my heart, when I have a fear or concern. He is who I look to inspire me, spoil me and tell me how fantastic I look. He is the person I spent my lazy Sundays and hectic Mondays with. He is my husband, my life-mate but no, he is not my soul-mate.

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My relationship with my husband is bound by the contractual agreement we both signed to love, cherish, respect and support each other. The signing also provides rights to recreate life and share this little human-being we call our Princess, Miss Ni. We accepted each other in sickness and in health. Our marriage brought us together, turned us into a family and gave us reasoning to move forward in our lives and grow together.

The relationship with my soul-mate (or there lack of) is completely different.. We have no contract. We barely even speak to each other. We will not love or cherish each other until the end of our days. We will not recreate life. We may probably never even meet. But he is the person I can think of to put a smile on my face when nothing in my life is going right. He is the reassurance I need who will never judge me. He hears my silence and understands the depth of my eyes. He knows how to make me feel like I look like a million bucks but doesn’t ever make me feel worthless.

I love my husband dearly. He is a gentle-kind person. He’s funny. He makes me happy. He is a devoted and caring father, making Ni one of the luckiest little girls out there.

Yes, I love my husband to the core of my being and will hold his hand through all our ups and downs. But no, he isn’t my soul-mate and that’s okay with me.

Soul-Mate

Have you ever been online, playing a game for instance and received a random hello from your opponent? Or randomly met the same person online over and over that you begin chatting with them every day? Your chats go off the gaming medium to a chat server. You exchange photos of each other, email addresses, even phone numbers.  

Eventually, you decided that you want to speak to them on the phone. The phone conversation turns from a 10-15 minute call to a 6-7 hours one. This person, you’ve never met becomes your closest and dearest friend. You spend endless hours chatting, skyping and talking on the phone with them.

But you’ve never met them.

There are no chances of you meeting them. You are living on two different parts of the world. The physical difference is too great. Nothing you do or they do can bring the two of you physically closer.

Life goes on. You lose contact with your friend. They move forward in their life, as do you.

But somewhere in your heart, in your mind, in your day-to-day routine, they are there. They are everywhere you are. But they are never near, nor ever far. Years pass by and you suddenly think, maybe it’s time I need to reach out again. I need this person to know I still exist, that I am still where I was 10 years ago. You expect them to have forgotten you.

But they haven’t.

They remember every conversation, every experience, every detail, as do you. It dawns on you that they are where you left them 10 years ago; the same place you are. Nothing has changed. But everything has. You are still you, the you, you were 10 years ago. They are still them, the way they were 10 years ago.

No, nothing has changed.

Your simple request to speak to them takes you back 10 years and it’s like nothing has changed. But you both know that things cannot be as they were before. So after the many hours of conversation, you bid your farewell and promise to not call them often. But do emphasis that you’ll reach out to them every few years and wish them a happy life, as they wish you one too.

Life goes back to what it was before that morning. You feel content with yourself and your life. You know their presence is missing from your life but you are happy knowing that after all these years they haven’t forgotten you and remain as your friend.

They are your soul-mate. No marriage. No child. No other friend can change that. This stranger, you know everything about is your soul-mate and that’s enough for you to go on with your life, for they are with you everyday, everywhere, all around.

Celebrating Our Third Wedding Anniversary

Wedding PicIt’s been 3 interesting years. So many ups and so many downs. Nonetheless, it has been an amazing 3 years. I’ve learned a lot of D and I’m hoping he’s learned a bit from me too. We’ve grown into a husband and wife and mother and father together. We’ve become reliant on each other and have adapted to each others personalities and moods. The ride so far, has been a bumpy one, no doubt. But it’s been great.

D has become my best friend. He’s stood by me through so many things and never let go of my hand; although I’ve tried to let go. He’s kept me on my toes and has contributed to my successes and happiness.

Happy Anniversary, my love. I hope to celebrate many more years with you and I hope the ride is never smooth. I enjoy the bumps and the bridges, because you’re by my side through it all. I love you so much and no matter what we go through or where we may go; I promise to not let go of your hand.