Today I start a new chapter of my life; I’m starting school! I’m super excited and nervous all at the same time; it’s been over 10-12 years since I last went to college. I’m anxious to begin and start learning a bunch of new things. But my stomach is also in knots thinking about how I’ll do.
Please wish me success with my new chapter and pray that I make it to the end with flying numbers! I’ll keep you guys updated on my progress as I move forward.
Thanks in advance and don’t forget to pray for me!
Xoxo ~ Tamana
Today I close another chapter of my life and embark on a journey towards bigger and better things. I’ve decided to end my relationship with the media industry and also quit working with/for my husband.
A year ago, I quit my project management job out of frustration towards ill-behaved managers and lack of professionalism. I joined my husband at a restaurant he has stakes in and became his business development assistant manager. That role entailed me to develop marketing plans for him to reach new clients and promote his catering offerings. My success is that he now has at least four new house accounts that frequently order catering from him. I was also his cashier, administrator and voice for all email communication.
It was nice to work in a self-employed environment; making my own shifts and developing new business ideas. But that ship has sailed and I’m ready to do something new and different, away from the food and media industry.
My father always hoped that one of his children would go into the healthcare industry; whether it was to become a doctor, a nurse, a physiotherapist or medical assistant. None of us did; until now.
On Monday, I begin working towards becoming a Personal Support Worker (PSW). It was a tough decision but one I had to take to ensure the betterment of my career and future of my family. I’ve had a lot of people give me a critical reaction to my decision to become a PSW but that hasn’t altered my decision; my biggest critic and supporter being my husband.
It’s hard work, I get it. However, it is also rewarding work and I’m moving into an industry that will never phase out. Plus, I can be a very selfish person at times and for me this new job will be a way of giving back to the world and possibly enlightening a few people’s lives that I may touch.
I’m excited to be starting this new journey of mine and hope that I will succeed in it as I have in previous journies. I hope you’ll all send your good wishes and thoughts my way as I embark on my new career path and goals.
Yesterday, Dev and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary. We didn’t do anything extravagant or buy any gifts for each other this time around. We just spent the whole day together, with Nid and my family as my mother had prepared an amazing lunch for us. It was a nice day.
As we were driving home from their house, I reminisced on all we had gone through over the past five years. All the ups and all the downs, all the fun trips, exploring and experiencing new things. All of the disagreements and moments when our personalities clashed. All the times we held each other and overcame our doubts and fears. And through all the those years and events, I realized that I married a gem-of-a-person because not once did he make me feel inferior to him or give me a doubt that we’d separate. He held my hand through it all and always reassured me that we’d get through it.
As I remember everything we’ve done and experienced, I cannot help but count my blessings for having met the love of my life. I cannot thank him enough for loving me and taking care of me the way that he does.
Happy Anniversary, babe. I love you and forever will and can’t wait to hold your hand through the next 50-60-70 years with you!
On the 27th of February, we celebrated my husband’s 35th birthday. I was at work all day as was he. But I prepared an amazing dinner before I left for work and set the table with champagne, a flower and cake in the fridge. It would’ve been the perfect surprise had he not been expecting something more elaborate and fun filled.
For past 6 years that my husband and I have been together, I have always thrown him a birthday bash; cooked all the food myself and invited all his friends over for a night of drinking and dinner. In previous years, I would shower him with gifts starting early in the month, as I did this time.
But I didn’t throw the big birthday bash this year. There was a bash but at a friend’s house for husband and another friend. It was supposed to be a trio birthday bash. But I had to cancel my portion of it and now I feel like I let Dev down. He’s a simple and sweet guy, he doesn’t ask for much but I’m sure he was expecting a big bash with all his friends present. I’ve felt terrible all week that I didn’t throw the big bash.
So, today, all of his friends are joining us at a restaurant for a surprise birthday dinner for him. He doesn’t know and thinks it’s just Nid, me and him going. I’m super excited that all his friends are going to be there and I’ve arranged for a cake and drinks will be on me for the whole gang. Hopefully, my love will enjoy his dinner.
I’ll post pics of tonight’s dinner and celebration in a couple of days. Have a blessed weekend and hope my dinner plans go smoothly!
2017 has started off slow and steady for me. Nothing new to expand on really. Except that I didn’t bothering to make my resolutions list as intended to. I did want to make it, I never have the mindset to sit down and actually write it all out. I know there are numerous things I want to accomplish this year but I don’t have the mental capacity to note them all down.
Aside from the resolutions, I’ve discovered that I want another child. It’s been a long battle with myself and finally, I’ve come to terms with myself about having another child. I keep thinking about Nid and the what if’s of something ever happening to Dev and I; god forbid. I don’t want my child to be alone in this world. She has cousins and aunts and uncles that love her dearly, but a sibling would be going through the same as her should anything happen to us. They would understand each other and would be able to take care of one another (hopefully).
Dev and I have talked about it over and over again and have agreed that now that Nid is four years old, it’s time we plan for another child. Plus, Nid has shown a lot of interest in having a baby sister or brother. I just hope that she and her sibling (if we have another child) get along and care for each other the way I hope. Nid’s very nurturing and I’m confident she will be the best older sister but when I think about my own relationship with my siblings I pray she doesn’t deal with what I have.
Lastly, I’ve been experimenting with my hair and colours. Right now, my hair is a pink fading to dark, electric purple. Lol. It’s not at crazy as it sounds. But I’m in love with the colour and it makes me feel wild, young and like my old self before the age of mommy hood and wife hood. Before the purple, it was a dark blue and then green. But I think the purple is my favourite. Let me know what you think!
So, that’s where I am so far into the new year. Slow but steady. I’m experimenting with hair colour, looking for jobs to get back into the corporate world, writing my resolutions in a new journal, planning to expand my family, working (once again) on my autobiography and trying to save some money. It’s all going pretty well. I feel content for the moment and counting blessings daily.
How’s your new year starting out? What are you hoping to accomplish and try this year? Share you goals and aspirations with me; I’d love to hear them!
I used to write a lot. Whether it be in a diary or notes on my phone or on my blog; I always managed to take a few minutes to write my thoughts down. Lately, I don’t seem to have the energy to write anything. I’m always exhausted because of the work I do. But there are so many things always going through my mind and I feel like they are just building up inside of me. I need to release them before my mind explodes.
Here I am today. I woke up at 5:30am for no reason at all. I don’t know when I fell asleep after putting Nid to sleep last night. I don’t know when Dev got home and what he did after that. I was in deep sleep from exhaustion of the week that passed. I’ve been up for several hours now, drinking my second cup of coffee and smoking my fourth cigarette. I realized as I starred thoughtlessly at the sky that I need to write. My mind feels fogged up and with so many things on my to-do list I am not giving myself the break that I do badly need.
So here I am writing about the need to write instead of writing what is stuck deep inside my mind. I guess the fact that I am writing at all is enough for me to cope with everything that is going through my mind. Or maybe I’m just procrastinating to get my thoughts out in the open. Or maybe the thoughts I want to write about will hurt me or the people around me should I release them from within me.
When did I become so scared to say what I felt? I was never like this before. I never cared what others thought or what I outcome of my outpouring would be. So why now?
Motherhood. Wife-hood. Daughter-hood. Sisterhood. Friend-hood. Maybe all those relations and responsibilities have changed the way I express myself. Maybe those relationships are too sacred for me to hurt. Maybe as the years pass by and my responsibilities and relations strengthen I am losing that bold, outspoken, straightforward part of myself. Maybe I am losing myself little by little.
Maybe I miss me. Maybe that’s why I find excuses not to write anymore.
Yesterday was Nid’s first day of Jr. Kindergarten and I am a complete mess. She was excited to be taking her lunch to school in her new Frozen lunchbox and containers. But she didn’t want to be in the big girl class; she wanted to stay with her best friend, who’s a year younger in their preschool. She wanted to stay with Ms. Edith and Ms. Shipra because she loves them and will miss them.
She took some great pictures outside the school and was all smiles. But once the teachers began taking their kids inside, she began to clench my hand and insisted that I stay. The teacher’s assistant slightly pulled her away; which caused her to burst into tears, resulting in mommy bursting into tears. I had been trying so hard to hold back my tears until that moment but the moment I saw her cry, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I kneeled down to hug her and reassured her that daddy or I would pick her up after school and it would be alright once she was inside with the rest of her class. Finally, the assistant pulled her away, asked me to leave and took my baby inside.
I stood near the compound of the school for a long while comforting myself and reassuring myself that she would be alright and would get through this and would eventually love school.
I left her a little congratulatory note and treat at home to encourage her and let her know how proud daddy and I are of her.
But how will I get through the fact that she’s not my baby anymore? She’s growing up so quickly and time is flying past us. She’s not my little baby anymore. She’s my big girl now and that’s terrifying for me. Day-by-day she is becoming more independent and doesn’t need me to lend her a hand. She wants to do everything on her own and barely needs her mommy anymore. And as great as that is, she’s still my little girl and I still need her to let do things for her. I’m not as ready to let go as she is.
My friends tell me that it will only get harder the bigger she gets because she’ll want to soar and fly and won’t want her mommy there all the time. Although, I know they’re right, I don’t want to believe them. I want to be the exception, that no matter how big she gets, she still looks for my hand beside her’s when she’s walking.