Tag Archives: people

People

Anyone that knows me personally knows I don’t generally like people. I’m diplomatic and friendly, where and when I need to be. But I’m also quite the jerk, asshole, bitch, whatever you want to call me.

I don’t have tolerance for ignorance or stupidity and find overly-sweet, bubbly people annoying to the point of wanting to punch them the minute they open their mouth.

And it’s not because I’m bitter or depressed or angry at the world. I just don’t like people.

However, this past year, I have been blessed to meet a few (yes, I said a few) smart, sassy, and my level of asshole-ness people. And can you believe it, some of them are actually women! (I can’t tolerate women more than not being able to tolerate men because the women I’ve met in the past have been jealous, gossiping, backstabbing, two-faced bitches. So for me to actually get close to women, it’s a big accomplishment, blessing, etc. what have you.)

I want to write about these people and how they’ve impacted my life and have made me appreciate friendship on a whole new level. But to write about each of them in one post would be annoying as hell and long and boring for you to read. I’m going to be doing a series called: The Impact Of Friendship (title subject to change) over the next several days/weeks and speak to each of these friendships and human-beings that are becoming a part of who I am.

I hope you’ll stay tuned and join me as I take you through my new friendships.

Until then, stay blessed and safe. Xoxo

~ Tamana

Who Are You?

Everyday of our lives, we meet someone new. Some are passerby’s, some stay awhile and depart and some become a part of us forever. But regardless of what their role is in our lives, they leave a piece of them with us and take a piece of us as they go.

We see only what they are willing to let us see. We hear only as much as they are willing to tell us and we feel only as much as they are willing to let us feel.

But then there are some people that come into our lives, who have the power to disturb everything we were so comfortable with. These people are more us, than us ourselves. It’s as if they were missing from the us we knew ourselves to be. You feel different, you act differently, you become a part of this person that you didn’t even know existed. And just when you thought, you knew everything there was to know or you felt everything you needed to feel, the mask comes off.

The existence of us disappears. Everything you thought you knew is no longer relevant. They are no more of us than us ourselves. They never were. Your mind created this existence that you thought you knew. Your eyes imagined this face that was never really there.

It was all an illusion of your mind. The person you thought you felt was never really there. It was all your imagination and foolishness. You allowed yourself to see a face, feel an existence that never was.

You’re left hollow, dumbfounded and feeling stupid for feeling anything at all and it shatters your core, rips through your soul piece by piece, shard by shard, letting you feel every tear as if a thousand knives were striking you. You are left unable to move, unable to think, unable to explain who it was you had experienced. So, who are you now if you aren’t the you that you thought you were when this person was more of you than yourself?

5 Lessons About The Way We Treat People

This was shared by a colleague today. It really touched my heart, so I thought of sharing it with all of you…

  1. First Important Lesson – Cleaning Lady:
    During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall,dark-haired and in her 50’s, but how would I know her name?I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
    “Absolutely, ” said the professor.. “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant.. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say “hello..”I’ve never forgotten that lesson.. I also learned her Name was Dorothy.
  2. Second Important Lesson – Pickup in the Rain:
    One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960’s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
    She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.
    It read: “Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s’ bedside just before he passed away… God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.” Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
  3. Third Important Lesson – Always remember those Who serve:
    In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table.. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked. “Fifty cents,” replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and counted the coins in it. “Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.. “Thirty-five cents,” she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away the boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..you see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
  4. Fourth Important Lesson. – The obstacle in Our Path:
    In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s’ wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out-of-the-way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables.. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
  5. Fifth Important Lesson – Giving When it Counts:
    Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes I’ll do it if it will save her.” As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away”. Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

Tell me what you think of these 5 lessons…do you follow any of these? I’d love to hear your thoughts…and remember:

“Live with no regrets, Treat people the way you want to be treated,  Work like you don’t need the money, Love like you’ve never been hurt, and Dance like you do when nobody’s watching.

 

People Come Into Your Life For A Reason, A Season Or A Lifetime.

A really nice email sent to me by a friend. Thought I’d share it with all of you.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to help you through a difficulty, to give you guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy..
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation..
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
 

The Extremist In Me

I am an extremist. I believe in loving to the extreme, hating to the extreme, living life to the extreme. I know that too much of anything isn’t a good thing. However, hate, love and life are such things that you have to be extreme about.

 

means to unconditionally accept someone; flaws and all. Love means to stand by their side no matter the circumstances. Love means to give yourself to that person fully and wholeheartedly. There are no limitations in love.

There’s no point in loving someone just a little or limited. Love is one of the world’s most greatest pleasures. How can you really only love someone half-ass? Then it’s not really love is it?

I know that most people will not reciprocate that type of love for you. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love them that way! I know we begin to have expectations from the people we love so extremely; however one out of all those people you love will reciprocate it. Well that’s my hope, at least.

See, the way I think is there are about 5 maybe 6 people I love beyond any limitation. 5 out of the 6 may not love me the way I want or do. But the hope remains that the 6th one does or will or eventually a 7th will come along who will. So, to the 5-6 others I give my heart fully regardless of them giving theirs or not with the hopes of finding 1 that will do the same. I know it sounds a little selfish, but everyone needs love in their lives to live a meaningful life.

Of course I have expectations and want to be loved that way by all those that I so dearly love that way. But my hope of finding that one that will truly love me, unconditionally and wholeheartedly remains in my heart. Therefore, it doesn’t bother me as much when the others don’t reciprocate it.

 

is a very strong word. There is only one person that I truly hate in this world. He is not to be spoken of. However, talking about hate, let me explain what extreme hatred is. Extreme hatred is not wishing bad upon that person. Nor is to do anything bad to them. But hating someone to the extreme means you treat them as you would want to be treated. You make them realize the value of you and then you never speak to them again. You never see them again. You never bother with them again. You make them want you and yearn for you. But you never give them the satisfaction of having you.

For humans, the loss of a person we truly love and care about is one of the hardest things to get over. Life surely goes on, but somewhere inside us that person never goes away. Somewhere inside us we secretly hope and pray for that person to come back. And somewhere inside us we never get over them. That is the way to hate someone. Make them hope and pray for you but never give them the satisfaction of having you. And this hatred that I’m speaking of is not just between a boyfriend and girlfriend or wife and husband. But in every relationship. The loss of someone they didn’t realize was so precious to them will be enough to torture and torment them for the rest of their lives.

 

should be lived to the extreme! Never look back at the decisions you have made. Never dwell on the past. Just keep pushing forward. Every time you fall, get up and start over.

Maybe it’s because my horoscope sign is Scorpio, I believe a lot in death and rebirth. Every issue, every obstacle, every heartbreak is a death. But with every death there must be a rebirth. You must be reborn. And with every new birth you have you need to come out stronger and smarter.

Believe me, there have been many times when I’ve almost given up on life and done some really stupid stuff to myself to try to end the pain and torture I was going through. But believe me on this too, every time that I’ve lived through it, I’ve killed a part of myself and been reborn. That part I killed was the part that put me through the torture and torment in the first place. And I’ve come out stronger, wiser and with even more of a determination to become someone!

Life is a roller-coaster. We’re already on it, we might as well make it worthwhile! Be extreme about life. Know that before it gets worst, it’ll get better. It’s a circle we go in. Bad days come. But so do good ones. Keep pushing. Keep struggling. Keep falling. In the next chapter more things will make sense; that I promise you!

A Beautiful Story

This was sent to me a few days ago, I thought I’d share it….

A beautiful story you may have read before…

I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked. ‘Just a minute’, answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90’s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets….There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

‘Would you carry my bag out to the car?’ she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. ‘It’s nothing’, I told her. ‘I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated’.  ‘Oh, you’re such a good boy’, she said.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, ‘Could you drive through downtown?’ ‘It’s not the shortest way,’ I answered quickly. ‘Oh, I don’t mind,’ she said. ‘I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice’. I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. ‘I don’t have any family left,’ she continued. ‘The doctor says I don’t have very long.’ I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. ‘What route would you like me to take?’ I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds.. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, ‘I’m tired. Let’s go now’

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair. ‘How much do I owe you?’ she asked, reaching into her purse. ‘Nothing,’ I said. ‘You have to make a living,’ she answered. ‘There are other passengers,’ I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. ‘You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’ squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life. We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

Feeling Ugly

When I look at people around me; at work, on the streets, in the car next to me, I wonder…how do these people keep themselves looking so perfect? I know that everyone has their flaws and dislikes about themselves. But lately, it seems like there are just too many beautiful people around me.

I know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that beauty comes from the inside. But I am strictly speaking of appearance and nothing else. These people around me are not celebrities or even stunning. But they are beautiful. The grace with which they walk, talk and carry themselves is absolutely beautiful.

And I am jealous! There I said it. I’m jealous, jealous, jealous!

When I look at myself in the mirror, I do not see beauty. I see dry, scaly skin. Thinned out, outdated hair. Fat, disgusting curves and clothes that just don’t fit properly. No matter how hard I try to give myself facials and keep my hands and feet looking neat and clean, I don’t look beautiful. No matter how hard I try to dress well, my clothes just don’t seem to look right.

Yes, I can keep buying clothes to “try” to make myself look professional and thin. And yes, I can keep “trying” to lose weight and eat the proper foods. And yes, I can keep “trying” to apply the right amount of moisturizer and make up to make my face look flawless. But nothing seems to help. By the time I get to work or wherever I am supposed to be going, my face, clothes, skin just look terrible.

So, what do I do? How do I make myself look beautiful? How much more money do I waste on looking beautiful!

I am becoming hopeless. I feel ugly today. 😦