Married or Not; You Should Read This

This was shared on my Facebook wall by a friend, I thought I would share it with all of you.

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last-minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

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About Tamana

I am a writer by heart. I am an extremist. I struggle. I fight. I love. I live. I hate and I succeed. But most importantly, I am just an ordinary Indian GIRL living in the T-Dot trying to make a life for myself!

Posted on October 18, 2011, in Positive Stories and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 54 Comments.

  1. Annemaarie sipilief

    what a great story.

  2. So true and sad.

  3. Omg, she was a strong woman for what went thru. ….this was also sad

  4. THIS IS A VERY TOUCHING STORY BUT SAD IT MAKE YOU THINK WHAT YOU CAN LOSE SO QUICKLY .

  5. A heartbreaker! I got totally choked up from this story.

  6. That cheating prick.!

  7. it is very sad cherish every day of your life,live life to the fullest.

  8. What moron wrote this terribly fake story?

  9. Complacency can end any relationship…….

  10. I don’t care if this is true or fake story. It teach us something about our beliefs, values, morals, ethics, etc in our life everyday. We can avoid that situation easily but we will carry guilt and regrets for that situation. Happiness is when two people work out their issues. By the way, this story wakes up anyone including me. We need to hear it like that often. It reminds us that we should appreciate each other for any or no reason. Example, Mr. Livestrong left his first wife because she had a cancer. Think about it.

  11. Apparently Eric doesn’t get it. Typical of him to say it was fake. Thats the tyrouble with mrn now a days, they don’t value what they have until its too late.

  12. How true this is!!!!!! Love this story and it brought tears to my eyes…Thanks B for sharing this…..

  13. marriage is hard and it may have many hardships,however in the long run it is worth more than words can ever express!the love of having somebody by your side at all times! triumphins and sadness id more than priceless.Now let the eternal love begin! blessings and good luck to all of you in your marriage and even the ppl who are not!
    Claudia M. Hernandez

  14. This story makes me have less faith in the overall male population. When it comes to fight or flight in a relationship, it seems that fleeing is most natural for them to do. Awesome.

    • ^^great things come from generalizing….what does this remind you of??

    • Thanks GOD divorce is not in the Philippines, para sa mayayaman na lang yan, but they will not have treasures in Heaven, our final destiny as GOD PROMISE.. Do GOOD please n we PRAY for each other . . . .

  15. Well I’m a man goin through a divorce right now but in my case my wife walked out and gave up on me I red this story sent to me by a christian friend of mine the more I read the more I cried this is a very touching story true or not I’ve never had the horrible thought of being alone but now I live with it daily and until u go through it u really don’t know what u had So if there’s a smallest chance of working through a delicate situation I suggest u give it a try I’ve never been alone but I am now

    • Dearest Mr. Mom, your comment touched me
      I’ve been through a divorce many years ago as well and honestly, my divorce was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I learnt so much about myself, my family, my friends and about life too. Being divorced really changed you and your loved ones. If you’re smart you will sit and analyze everything that went right and wrong and learn from of it. Hang in there. Some of us have to go through this before we find our happily ever after. I believe I have found mine and I believe you too will find yours. Best wishes to you. It’s tough but you just need to get through it and come out of it a better person.

  16. James Immad Udeen Reynolds

    one never knows what they have until it is gone….

  17. An urban legend that has been around since 2004. The wife dying was added in 2007 and the cancer added in 2009.

    http://www.snopes.com/glurge/carry.asp

  18. who cares if it’s true. still a potent reminder of the commitments we make and so easily break.

  19. Why did she keep the cancer to herself and not tell him? As someone who has been through cancer, its not something you keep to yourself.

    Seems suspiciously made up…..but in any case, tragic story.

    • Wrong I did to protect all around me I coped as life went on as usual and I was treated the same,not in cotton wool,everyone deals with things in heir own way.i am lucky I survived

  20. horrible. corny.

  21. Illinois required all couples with children attend “Children First” counciling when I divorced in the 1990′s. It was amazing to watch spiteful couples put aside their anger, pain, resentment, etc for the sake of their children. I hope more parents will remember this.

  22. Thanks for sharing this with me Amanda, it really touched my heart.

  23. This definitely hit home. I’m currently seperated from my husband. Not because of infidelity or anything like that. But it makes you realize the things you take for granted. You don’t realize what you have until it’s gone

    • Sorry I hear about your separation. You’re absolutely right! With this hectic daily life we so easily forget that we should stop and smell the roses. Life is short and we so often take out dear ones for granted.

      I hope your issues with your hubby resolve for the best, Nicole!

  24. If there is love in a relationship, try your best to make it work. If there is no love, it’s best to go your separate ways. A loveless relationship is painful.

  25. The greatest gift you can give to a special someone is your
    T-I-M-E.
    It’s like you’re GIVING THE PORTION OF YOUR LIFE that you can never bring back. =)

  26. It’s true you never miss something until it’s gone.

  27. This was a very touching story. Thanks for sharing, there’s someone that i knew that died from breast cancer and she didn’t want anyone to know.. not her husband or families, she didn’t even try to go get treatment or help. I think everyones got their reasons to what they do or want to do. We’re not in their shoes so we wouldn’t know. Treasure everyday with your love ones like it’s your last, because you may never know…

  28. janakiraman7884

    engrossing and touching story.

  29. That is so right on. We always think grass is greener on! The other side.AND when you get there its nothing what you wanted. It saddened me. Even though it wasn’t my decision. I wish I would fight harder for what I had. Amen

  30. The writing is not great….but I understand the point. Nice concept, however; very 1950′s femanist.

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