We Fall and Then Get Right Back Up Again

Shit happens and then we get over it. We fall and get right back up again. That’s the way life goes.

How long do you spend dwelling on things out of your reach? How long do you hold onto things that are out of your control? How long do you let the resentment last before you finally say fuck it?

For me, maybe a few hours.

Life has taught me many lessons and I guess that’s why I am the way I am. I have fallen many times, some physical, some emotional times. But I seem to bounce right back up again.

Where this strength comes from, is beyond me. But somehow I manage to get through whatever it is I’m facing. Yes, of course at the time of it happening I am generally a terrible wreck. But it doesn’t take much time for me to finally get over it and look past the horizon.

I think I’ve just stopped caring that’s why I get over things so quickly. It’s a scary thought that things don’t effect me the way they used to. On the flip side, it’s also a good thing that I can recover so quickly and get back on my toes. It does worry me though, that things that should bother me don’t anymore. I mean, I know life will always have obstacles, some we’ll dwell on and some we’ll overlook. However, I feel like I’m overlooking many things nowadays. More than usual.

I wonder how this change in me will effect my future. I wonder if will effect it at all. Who knows.

I’ve changed and am gradually changing more and more day-by-day. Where this change will take me is still a mystery. I guess, we’ll just wait and see.

Emotional Wreck: Once Again

Walking down the stairs, phone in one hand, a bag in the other; my foot slipped and I tumbled down the stairs, hit my head on the railing making a complete ass out of myself. I learnt a lesson today probably the hard way: no one will come to your rescue no matter how hard you reach out. Someone just walked right past me as I tried to gather myself up. No one stopped. No one even bothered to helped.

Although my fall was very real and physically painful, I realized as I sat in my car trying to hold back the tears that my emotional roller-coaster is very similar to my fall. No one will be there to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and life. I have to do it alone. No one will be my shoulder to grab onto; I have to be my own.

I feel broken and shattered emotionally. I feel like walking away from the life I am living and not turning back. I know I’ve felt this way before. I know I’ve been here before. I just don’t know how to escape and stop returning to this place.

I think to myself and wonder when and where will my life begin? I know I am living, I just can’t figure out if I am alive or not.